Third Time's A Charm
by OceanCrush
Summary: Sam Puckett & Freddie Benson are happily involved…with other people. However, as they say, first loves are hard to let go of and even harder to forget.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I owned iCarly, Sam and Freddie would be together. Alas, I don't.

**Third Time's A Charm**

"And remember that time we got kidnapped by that psycho chick and she strapped Spencer to a wheel and fed us weird Norwegian food?" Carly laughed as she sipped from the wine glass in her hand.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Freddie said with a grimace. "I think I went home and washed my mouth out with soap after her attack on me…which, if I remember correctly, neither of you even bothered to try and save me from," he stared pointedly at the blonde and brunette in front of him.

"Who are you kidding? I'm sure you loved it. That was the most action you'd seen in a while, Benson," Sam said with a laugh.

Freddie opened his mouth to protest, but Sam cut him off.

"And before you try to deny it, I know it's true because the last person you had been with was me and that was months ago. Anyway, you should have been thrilled," Sam replied with a smirk, before raising the brown bottle to her lips.

"Hahaha, Puckett," Freddie said as he rolled his eyes.

"And yet he doesn't deny it," Sam snickered, causing Carly to chuckle quietly between sips.

"Can you believe how long ago that was?" Carly said, a vaguely reminiscent look upon her face.

"It's definitely hard to believe," Freddie smiled fondly.

Carly was quiet before speaking up again, this time rather wearily. "I just…I just love you guys so much."

"Okay, kid. It's time you lay off the white wine," Sam joked as she took the diminutive brunette's glass out of her hand. It was a known fact that Carly Shay was the epitome of a lightweight. She couldn't handle much before she was a mess…an emotional, weepy mess.

"Sam, I'm fine," Carly said with a laugh. "It's just, I can't believe we're almost 30."

"Hey, I'm 24. How is that almost 30? That's not almost 30. Do not rush this whole ageing thing, Carls," Sam interjected.

Carly continued, ignoring her comment.

"I mean, I'm engaged and I'm getting ready to move to New York with Ben. And Sam, the club is doing so well and you're basically married to Shawn who-"

Sam cut her off.

"Carly, seriously? I am not 'basically married'. We're hardly even dating. We're just…having fun and…"

"Spending all of your time together, going out on dates, basically living together," Carly said with a smirk.

Sam went to object, but Carly cut her off.

"How many times in the past week have you spent the night at Shawn's?" Carly asked knowingly.

Sam stared down into the brown bottle she held in her hands, swishing the amber liquid around distractedly.

"Exactly," Carly replied smugly.

"What does it even matter that I spent the night at Shawn's? We're hooking up, not confessing our love for each other or anything."

"Does he have a place in his bathroom cabinet and his dresser drawer for your stuff?"

Sam said nothing. Carly had gotten her there.

"Basically married," Carly joked in a singsong voice. "Next thing you know, Shawn will be asking you to move in with him."

Sam avoided Carly's eyes, staring determinedly at the table.

She knew well enough that she and Shawn were very seriously involved and had been for a while. She knew it wasn't just hooking up and having fun. She knew there was more to it than that. However, she didn't like admitting it, because she felt like admitting it made things final. Finality made her feel trapped. While Carly may have been ready for finality and till death do us part, Sam Puckett certainly wasn't.

Suddenly, Sam was pulled from her thoughts by the loud thud of Freddie's glass hitting the hard wood of the table. She glanced over at him, a strangely strained look on his face.

"Geeze, you trying to break your glass, Hulk?" she joked.

"Glass slipped," he mumbled, avoiding her gaze.

Sam gave him a perplexed look before Carly spoke up again.

"And Freddie, things are going so good with that tech company," she paused as she waggled her eyebrows in Freddie's direction "and with Vivian."

Sam felt a slight twist in her stomach at the name. She had never liked Vivian. A petite 22-year-old red head with upturned features, Vivian came from money back east. Freddie had met her while on a business trip to New York. Vivian's father was the CEO of the tech company Freddie worked for. She was an aspiring actress, and, based on some of her work Sam had seen (at Freddie's insistence), a rather terrible one at that. From the handful of times Sam had met her when she'd visited Seattle, she had gathered a few very key (and irritating) things about her.

She was an absolute ditz.

She had a grating habit of laughing at everything Freddie said. (Which Sam never understood because it had always been a well-established fact for her that Freddie Benson was not funny. He was the antithesis of funny.)

She apparently lived off a strict diet of vegetables and only vegetables. On her last trip to Seattle, they'd all gone out to a fancy steakhouse restaurant to celebrate Freddie's recent promotion at work. She'd ordered a salad. At a steakhouse. A salad at a place that specialized in meat. In the world of Sam Puckett, that was certified blasphemy.

Freddie blushed slightly.

"Speaking of which, since she's flying into town tomorrow morning I should probably head home and get a few hours of sleep before I have to pick her up from the airport."

"How long is she going to be here for?" Carly asked.

"Just three days. She would stay longer but-"

"-But thank goodness she can't," Sam muttered loudly.

"Sam, promise you'll be nice while she's here. Please? She's a really nice girl if you give her a chance. I don't know why you don't like her. Jealous?" Freddie joked.

"Been there, done that, Benson…Twice if you've forgotten," Sam replied without missing a beat. She was referring to the two previous times she and Freddie had dated. The first time they'd dated had been for 2 or so months in 11th grade. The second time had been from the end of their senior year of high school until the summer before their sophomore year of college.

Both times it had ended mutually and on decent enough terms. That wasn't to say that it hadn't hurt, especially the first time, because it had. It had hurt like hell.

It was just that, every time they tried, it never seemed to work out. This, of course, didn't take away from the feelings they both continued to carry for one another for quite some time after their final break up. These persistent feelings resulted in regular hook ups and undefined flings throughout college, with an understanding that maybe a traditional relationship just wasn't right for them. Maybe they just didn't work under those sorts of constraints and expectations.

At least that was how it worked until Sam met Shawn and Freddie, a few months later, met Vivian.

With that, it was as if they'd come to some silent agreement that whatever they had been before, they weren't anymore or, maybe more appropriately, they couldn't be.

"Besides, I don't like her because she's an irritating ditz who laughs at everything you say, which doesn't make sense because you're not funny, and who apparently lives strictly off of lettuce. Who does that?"

"Vegetarians, Sam. She's a vegetarian. How many times do I-" Freddie began.

Carly cut him off, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"I'll make sure she plays nice, Freddie."

Freddie glared at Sam before continuing.

"Anyways, she starts filming that new movie next week so she needs to be back in New York early."

Sam opened her mouth to speak again, no doubt attempting to spout a sarcastic comment about Vivian's talent (or lack thereof), when Carly gave her a pointed look.

"Play nice, Sam."

Sam rolled her eyes, before sighing and begrudgingly giving in.

"Okay, mom."

Carly laughed.

"Yeah, I should probably get going too. Ben and I are meeting with a wedding planner tomorrow morning. Oh, by the way, Sam, Shawn, Ben and I were all going to go out to lunch tomorrow. Freddie, you and Vivian should come."

Freddie was silent a moment before replying.

"Sam will play nice?" he asked with a smirk as he glanced at Sam.

Though she hated to admit it, that smirk shook her resolve in seconds.

It always had.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll be nice," she rolled her eyes. "But you're paying the bill for my drinks tonight, Benson."

"Fair enough," he laughed as he pulled out his wallet.

.

.

.

.

.

"Samantha! It's so great to see you again," Vivian gushed as she stood from the table and wrapped her thin arms around Sam.

Sam stood stiff and uncomfortable in Vivian's grip.

"Nice to see you too," she mumbled half-heartedly.

Vivian wore a short black dress and impossibly high heels. Her long red hair cascaded down her shoulders almost reaching her lower back.

"Oh, you look so good," she continued to gush as she let go of Sam and sat back down in her seat.

Sam and Shawn had just arrived at the restaurant and Sam already wanted nothing more than to leave.

There was only so much of Vivian's "bubbly" personality that she could take and only so much "playing nice" that she could manage. Maybe it was unfair of Sam, but there was just something about the girl that had always gotten under her skin. She couldn't help it. Sam either liked you or she didn't. And Vivian? She did not like. Admittedly, the list of people she did like was rather short to begin with.

"Honestly, if my Freddiebear and I weren't so in love, I'd be a little worried about this one," she giggled as she pointed a long manicured finger at Sam.

And there it was.

Freddie, whose head had been buried deep in the menu, looked up, shooting a surprised look at Vivian, followed by an awkwardly apologetic one at Sam.

Confusedly, Sam stared back at Vivian. She called him Freddiebear? Who was she? His mother? And worried? Why would she be worried, even jokingly so? There was nothing for her to be worried about. At all.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sam could see Carly eyeing the situation curiously.

"Well, don't worry about it. Kid is all yours. Been there, done that," she laughed.

Behind her, Sam heard Shawn awkwardly clear his throat.

"Oh and this," Sam began as she placed her hand on Shawn's arm for emphasis, "is Shawn."

Reaching out a hand to Vivian he added, "I'm Sam's boyfriend."

Vivian politely shook his hand, eyeing him closely as if silently sizing him up.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Shawn," Vivian said finally, before tearing her attention away from them and turning back towards Freddie.

She leaned over towards him and whispered something in his ear, causing him to blush slightly. She giggled as she leaned in further and kissed him (with far more intensity than was necessary in a public place where people ate.) When she pulled back, Sam caught her eye and she couldn't help but see a hint of self-satisfaction painted across her tiny, upturned features.

It was enough to make anyone barf.

Sam sighed inwardly.

It was going to be a long afternoon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Completely Non-Witty Disclaimer:** You know the drill. I don't own iCarly.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

While Sam had anticipated a lunch filled with Vivian's vapid remarks and obnoxious giggles, she had not anticipated an entire evening filled with much the same.

Since Sam had the night off, she'd suggested Ben and Carly join her and Shawn for a few drinks at the club she worked as a manager at. Somehow, Sam's invitation had turned into an invitation to Freddie and Vivian as well.

This was all Carly's fault. She was the one who had thought it was important to "play nice". She was the one who had invited them along.

With that in mind, Sam was also blaming Carly for the rather large Vodka and Coke (that was far more Vodka than Coke) she was currently downing. Anything to help the night with Vivian go by faster was okay in her book. In fact, it was more than okay. It was a necessity.

"It's so nice that you work at a place like this, Samantha," Vivian said loudly over the thumping bass of the music that filled the tiny space. "My dad owns a few nightclubs back in New York, ya know? Of course, they're all a little more VIP if you catch my drift."

Sam glared at Vivian through the dim of the club, though she seemed oblivious to it. Before Sam could respond, Vivian spoke up again.

"But, this is nice, too. It's really," Vivian paused as she stared around the room "…quaint…homey. It's really cute," she smiled widely.

Freddie glanced apologetically at Sam for Vivian's backhanded compliment. He seemed to be doing that a lot tonight. Sam merely rolled her eyes.

"Well, not all of us has your Daddy's money," Sam muttered sarcastically under her breath.

"I need to go to the restroom. Where is it?" Vivian asked, ignorant of Sam's earlier comment.

"Past the bar and to the right," Sam replied dully.

"Thanks, Samantha," she said all too sweetly before making her way towards the bar.

Looking down at the now empty glass Sam held in her hands, she sighed. She was going to need another Vodka and Coke.

Pronto.

It was going to be a long night.

.

.

.

.

.

"I'm sorry…about what Vivian said earlier. She didn't mean it in a bad way, she just-" Freddie paused, glancing up at the dark dance floor where Vivian now stood, dancing with Carly. Ben and Shawn had stepped outside for a smoke leaving Sam and Freddie alone at the table.

"-she just doesn't think before she speaks sometimes," Freddie finished.

"Yeah, that's kind of obvious," Sam replied sarcastically.

They sat in silence for a moment, surrounded by the dark of the club and its occasionally flashing lights.

"She means well," Freddie pressed, tearing his gaze from the dance floor and turning to look at Sam. "Really, she's a nice girl and-"

"I get it, Freddie. She's a nice girl. She means well. Cool. I'm glad. Can we talk about something other than her or better yet, can you just not talk at all? Your voice is giving me a headache."

Freddie stared at Sam, an amused smile on his face.

"You're never going to like her are you?" he asked with a small laugh.

"Nope," Sam said finally turning to look at Freddie. "Then again, I don't really like most people, so she shouldn't take it personally. I mean, it took me years to be able to stand you."

"Well, I'm glad you warmed up to me eventually," Freddie laughed as he made eye contact with Sam, holding it for a split second too long to be comfortable.

Quickly, Sam looked away from Freddie and back out towards the floor.

"So, why aren't you out there?" Sam asked, nodding towards Vivian's place on the crowded dance floor. Though it was dark, Sam could see Vivian moving her hips in time to the music, her long hair swaying wildly back and forth. She noticed a handful of guys eyeing her interestedly. She may not have cared for the girl, but she understood their interest. She was hot. Even Sam could admit that.

"Do I really need to remind you?" Freddie said with a slight grimace.

Sam stared innocently over at Freddie, as if she had no clue what he was referring to.

"Senior prom. Punch bowl. Dislocated shoulder. Any of those things ring a bell?" Freddie sighed.

Sam laughed heartily at his discomfort, the incident playing out in her mind, detail by hilarious detail.

"Oh, I remember. I just wanted to see if you remembered."

"Hahaha, Sam. Yes, I still remember embarrassing myself at senior prom. Yes, I still refuse to dance in public."

"Aww come on, you really haven't danced in public since then?" Sam prodded.

"Nope and I have no intentions of changing that anytime soon," Freddie said with an air of finality.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, it is."

Sam stood up and reached out her hand to Freddie.

"Up, nub," she demanded.

"No, Sam. Really. I'm not doing this. I told you. Not happening," Freddie protested.

Sam, however, was not one to take no for an answer.

She never had been.

"We have to do this the hard way then, kid?" Sam asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Freddie stared back, a slight feeling of nervousness rising in the pit of his stomach.

He knew that look. That look meant trouble.

Surprisingly, her face changed almost instantly. Gone was the mischievous glint, replaced instead by an uncharacteristically angelic disappointment.

"Freddie," she said all too sweetly, "will you please make up for the senior prom dance I never got to have with my date because he ruined it by embarrassing himself, dislocating his shoulder, and getting himself sent to the hospital 20 minutes into prom? Please?"

Freddie stared at Sam confusedly. A threat to embarrass him, he'd expected. Use of physical force, he'd expected. But this? This he had not expected.

Sam fluttered her eyelashes at him, a small pout playing across her lips.

"Please, Freddie," she cooed softly.

"Seriously, Sam?" Freddie asked incredulously, a smile slowly appearing on his face.

"What?" she asked, continuing to play innocent.

"'Please'? Batting your eyes at me? Who are you and what have you done with Sam Puckett?" Freddie laughed.

"Ugh, Fine," Sam said, her normal demeanor re-appearing just as quickly as it had disappeared. "It works on Shawn…it worked on Ian too actually…and Jason. Actually, now that I think about it, the whole innocent act has a pretty good track record."

"Well, I know you well enough to not fall for it Sam. Physical force and embarrassment are the only Puckett MOs that work," Freddie said.

"Well, if that's how you want to play it, fine. I was trying to give you one last chance to take the easy way out," she said matter-of-factly.

Before Freddie could respond, Sam had grabbed a hold of his ear and pulled him upwards out of his seat, into a standing position.

"Ouch, Sam!" Freddie said with a yelp. "That hurts."

"It's supposed to, nub," she said, still holding tight to his ear.

"So, do I need to drag you out onto that dance floor by your ear, or do you think you can manage it yourself?" she asked with a smirk.

"Fine, Sam. I'll-I'll do it okay," Freddie sighed resignedly.

"Much better," Sam smirked as she let go of his ear.

She wasn't sure if it was the Vodka or the rush of triumph, but Sam was suddenly feeling even more brazen than normal.

She grabbed a hold of Freddie's arm, dragging him to the edge of the dance floor.

Once there, Sam began to sway in time to the music. Still holding onto Freddie's hand, she lifted her arms in the air, waving them wildly.

Freddie stood awkwardly in front of her.

"I didn't drag you out here so you could just stand around, Benson," Sam sighed in exaggerated irritation.

"Well, you already know I'm not much of a dancer. I'm not sure what you're expecting, Sam."

Sam groaned exasperatedly before turning around. She grabbed hold of his hands and placed them firmly on her hips.

"Follow me."

"What?" Freddie asked confused.

"Just follow my movements. Seriously, I'm making this as easy as possible here."

Once more, Sam began to rock back and forth to the sound of the music, this time with Freddie's figure behind her. Resting her hands sternly over his, she guided him slowly, moving him in time to the music. Initially, she could feel his tenseness under her, but as the song wore on, he loosened up slightly, getting a hold of the rhythm that blared from the speakers.

As the pulsating beat continued to play, she found him getting closer to her, the distance between them growing smaller and smaller until she could feel his chest against her back. At one point, they were so close she could feel every rise and fall of his chest with every breath that he took. She closed her eyes, momentarily loosing herself in the pulsating sound and the rhythmic sway of her and Freddie's movements.

As the beat quickened, she suddenly became acutely aware of the feeling of Freddie's breath on her neck. As they moved, she could feel his breathing growing faster and slightly more erratic. Almost out of habit, she quickened her motions, no longer simply swaying to the music, but moving strongly against it, pushing herself against him. She loosened her hands from over his and slowly snaked her arms around his neck, bringing them, if possible, even closer. At that moment she felt his breath hitch slightly, catching her by surprise. He pulled away almost instantly, removing his hands from her hips and loosening the grip of her arms from around his neck.

Regretfully, Sam opened her eyes, strangely disappointed by the sudden reappearance of distance between them.

Before she could even turn to fully face Freddie, she was met with an icy cold stare from Vivian, who was standing a few feet away from the edge of the floor. If looks could kill, Sam was certain she'd be dead.

"I think I'm ready to go, Freddie," Vivian said loudly as she made her way over to Freddie and Sam. There was a coolness to her tone that caught Sam by surprise. Gone was the airy flightiness Sam had grown accustomed to hearing.

"Uhm. Oh. Okay. Yeah. H-Home," Freddie rambled. Sam noticed the flush in his cheeks and the heavy rise and fall of his chest. There was a slight glint of perspiration across his forehead and his eyes were downcast, avoiding both Sam's and Vivian's.

Before Sam could say anything, Vivian grabbed a hold of Freddie's hand and pulled him through the sea of people towards the door. Quickly, Freddie looked up, catching Sam's eye.

There was that apologetic look again.

And then he was gone, pulled out the door by Vivian into the dark Seattle night.

Sam felt a strange clawing feeling in her stomach as she stared at the spot where Freddie and Vivian had stood only moments before. She knew that feeling. She knew what it meant.

She also knew she shouldn't have been feeling it.

She couldn't.

It didn't make sense. She had Shawn.

Surely, it was nothing more than a little too much Vodka playing tricks on her.

Yeah. That was it.

It had nothing to do with him. Nothing. It would have happened with anyone…

Sam looked up and saw Shawn making his way back into the club. Ben wasn't with him. She assumed he and Carly must have already left.

As he got closer, Sam could see a large smile spread across his face.

For some reason it made her heart ache slightly.

She did her best to shake off the weirdness of what had happened only moments before.

"So, you ready to go?" he asked, a twinkle in his large blue eyes.

"Your place or mine?" Sam asked as confidently and flirtatiously as she could manage.

Painting a wide smile on her face, she pushed away the clawing anxiousness now resting in the pit of her stomach and grabbed a hold of Shawn's hand, leading him through the crowd and out the door.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you so much to MoviePal, Lackadaisical Pajamas, GoingNuts, and PurpleFlower17 for the reviews. I really really appreciate them. I love getting feedback and knowing that there's someone (other than me ha) who is interested in where the story is going. Thank you as well to those who have favorited the story, set up story alerts, etc. That stuff makes me really happy.

Also, some good news. Things are going to start picking up from here on out. The first two chapters were a lot of setting the scene and such, but now were going to start getting into the juicier bits. ;) Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed it and if you did, reviews are appreciated! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** If I owned iCarly, iOpen A Restaurant would never have happened. Alas, I do not own iCarly.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_Freddie could feel her body against his, though he couldn't see her at all in the dark of the room. He heard her laugh slightly, as she ran her fingers along his jaw, tracing it softly. She said nothing as her hands traveled down his chest and under his shirt, her fingertips sending sparks through his body as she touched him. "You want this as bad as I do, don't you?" she whispered in a low and seductive drawl that sent chills down his spine. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out as she leaned forward, kissing him gently along his jaw and slowly making her way down his neck. He groaned outwardly, before reaching out to touch her, but he grasped only air. Suddenly, the room was illuminated with a blindingly bright light. She came into full view, her long blonde hair almost glowing in the intensity of the light. However, she was no longer near him now, but was instead standing on the far opposite side of the room. There was an uncharacteristically sweet smile on her face, much like the one she'd tried to use on him at the club earlier that night, as she gazed over at him. _

_She simply smiled sweetly as she waved her finger back and forth in a motion of disapproval. Without another word, she turned her back towards him and began to walk away. _

"_Sam. Sam!" he yelled, though she ignored his pleas._

"_Sam! Where are you going? Sam!" he continued to yell as she got smaller and smaller until she completely disappeared._

"Bzzzz! Bzzzz!" Freddie awoke with a jump, the sound of his alarm clock filling the room. Disoriented, he looked around, momentarily confused as to where he was and where Sam had gone.

Looking around his room, he noticed a familiar black dress strewn across a chair.

Vivian's.

Suddenly, it all fell into place.

A dream. It had all just been a dream.

He sighed heavily, laying his head back down on the pillow.

"You all right, Freddie?" a voice said from the doorway. Freddie rolled over to see Vivian standing in the entrance to his room. She was wearing one of his large button ups. The top buttons were slightly undone and the shirt was so large on her that it looked more like a dress than anything.

"Uh…yeah. Yeah, f-fine. Totally good," Freddie stuttered sleepily.

Did she know? Had he been talking in his sleep? Had she heard him say Sam's name? Freddie wondered in a panic.

"You sure?" she asked as she made her way over to the bed, stretching out lazily next to him. "I was in the kitchen trying to find something for breakfast when I heard you in here…yelling. It sounded like you were yelling at someone."

"Well, ya know…it was probably just some really…'crazy' dream. You know how that goes," Freddie said with a strained laugh, attempting to push away the still very vivid memories of Sam's smiling face and the feel of her hands on him…

Vivian eyed him strangely for a moment, before seeming to deem his answer acceptable. Once she had, she quickly changed the subject.

"Anyways, when I was going through your cabinets looking for something to eat, I found those awful pink marshmallowy disasters in there again. I thought I threw those out the last time I was here. And now you have like, 5 boxes of them. I've told you 1000 times. Those things are awful for you. They'll rot your teeth and make you fat. I mean, they're called 'Fat Cakes'. Why would you even eat something that has fat in the name?"

Freddie couldn't help but smile vaguely as Vivian jabbered on. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but somewhere along the way, he'd gotten into the habit of keeping things like whole hams and boxes of Fat Cakes around his apartment for whenever Sam might show up.

A few months ago, after one of Vivian's most recent visits, Sam and Carly had been hanging out at Freddie's apartment. That particular night, Sam was rather horrified to discover that Freddie's apartment was severely lacking in all of her typical snack fare and she was absolutely livid when she found out what had happened to them. Vivian had thrown them out, all ten boxes of Fat Cakes, plus a whole ham that had been sitting in his freezer for months. In retaliation, Sam had gone out and bought 25 boxes of Fat Cakes, essentially clearing out an entire convenience store shelf, and brought all of them back to Freddie's.

The five boxes Vivian was now ranting about were all that remained of Sam's stockpile. She'd eaten the rest.

"Freddie, why are you smiling? This isn't funny. I'm serious. This is for the benefit of your health," Vivian said seriously.

"I know, I know. Just…I'll take care of it. I'll get rid of them. Okay?" he said with a convincing smile, knowing full well that he wouldn't be getting rid of them at all. He'd just have to hide them better. In all the years that Freddie had known Sam, he'd learned one very important thing about her: Never mess with her food.

"Okay," Vivian said with a smile. "But, do it today. Okay? Please?"

She batted her eyelashes, her gaze downcast, much the same way Sam had the previous night.

"Of course," Freddie replied. A large smile broke out across Vivian's face as she leaned over and kissed him softly.

"Thanks."

They lay in silence for a moment, Vivian absentmindedly running her fingers lightly over the palm of his hand.

"So…uhmm, I know this is totally silly but, like, there's…there's nothing going on between you and Sam…right? I mean, that's like, totally old news and everything, right?" Vivian asked softly, an uncharacteristic hint of nervousness in her voice.

Freddie tensed immediately, surprised to hear the question. Maybe she had heard him say Sam's name in his sleep after all? But, it was just a dream, Freddie reasoned. People dreamed all sorts of things, but that didn't mean they actually wanted them to happen. Besides, he and Sam were done. Over with. They'd more or less silently agreed on that. Like Sam had said, been there, done that.

When Freddie didn't immediately reply, Vivian spoke up once more.

"Because, I know you didn't mean to, but last night kind of made me…uncomfortable..."

Last night. Immediately, Freddie remembered. Sam. Him. Very little personal space & a rather compromising position.

Oh.

"Oh, that-that was nothing. Really," Freddie said with all the confidence he could muster.

Vivian continued to eye him skeptically, pulling her hand away from his and wrapping it self-consciously around her opposite arm.

"Really. It's like Sam said," Freddie started, his resolve growing stronger as he watched Vivian, self-conscious worry painted on her face. "'Been there, done that.' We're just friends. And that whole thing last night was…well, it's kind of a long story, but it didn't mean anything."

When Vivian didn't respond, but just began pulling at the extra long sleeve of her shirt, Freddie spoke up again.

"Look, I really like you Vivian. There's nothing going on between Sam and me. Old news. Really," he said resolutely.

Vivian was silent a moment more, before a small smile escaped, though she tried to hold it back by biting her lower lip.

"Well, I kind of really like you too," she replied, kissing him sweetly before pulling back. Slowly, she reached her hand back down towards his, interlocking their fingers together.

They laid there in a quiet silence before Vivian spoke up again.

"It must be crazy seeing Carly get married. You guys have like, grown up together and stuff."

"Yeah, it is," Freddie chuckled quietly. " I mean, I know she's going to be married now and she's going to change her last name and be…someone's wife, but she'll always just be Carly Shay to me, ya know?"

"It must be nice though…for her. Just, to know that she's found the one…the one she's going to marry…the one she's going to have kids with and stuff…" Vivian said. As she spoke she eyed Freddie curiously.

"Yeah, I think she's really happy. I'm happy for her. Ben really loves her and she's crazy about him. And she's always wanted to be a mom. She'll make a good mom someday," Freddie replied thoughtfully.

Vivian sighed, turning from her side and onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

"What about you?" she said finally.

"What about me?"

"Ya know…marriage…kids. You want that, right?" Vivian asked, a hopeful urgency in her voice.

For the second time that morning, Freddie felt himself tense at the turn of conversation. Of course he wanted to marry and he wanted to have kids. However, the urgency in Vivian's voice made him feel strangely trapped.

"Eventually. I mean, I think I'd like to be a little more financially secure first and stuff before any of that happens."

"Oh…" Vivian replied quietly. "But you do want it one day, right?"

Freddie was silent as he stared up at the ceiling.

"One day…" he said finally.

He had a sinking feeling his "one-day" was a lot farther off than Vivian was hoping for.

"Do you think you've found her?" Vivian asked again after a moment's silence.

"Who?"

"Ya know…the one…" she replied quietly.

The one? The one he wanted to marry? Had he found her? Was it Vivian? Did he want to marry Vivian? A million questions rushed through his mind as he lay there.

He liked Vivian, but marriage was not something that had ever crossed his mind prior to today.

He tried to picture himself in a tux, Vivian walking towards him in a long white gown, a veil over her face, her long red hair stacked in large curls atop her head. Almost instantly however, his train of thought wandered and Vivian's red mane was replaced w/ a bright blonde one. Suddenly, he found himself face to face with a grinning Sam Puckett.

Wait. Sam. No. Not Sam. Vivian. That's whom he was supposed to be thinking about. He was supposed to be thinking about the gorgeous girl lying next to him, staring up pleadingly at him with her deep green eyes. Vivian. Not Sam. Where had that even come from? Did he want to marry Sam? No. Of course not. They had been over for ages. He didn't want to marry her…He didn't even want to date her…right?

"So…" Vivian prodded nervously.

A mixture of confusion and claustrophobia settled in around Freddie. The multiple appearances of Sam in his dreams and thoughts that morning had set him on edge enough as it was. Having talks about marriage with Vivian only complicated matters.

He wasn't quite sure what to say to Vivian's question. If he said no or that he wasn't sure, surely she'd be hurt because it meant it wasn't her. But, even if he said yes, he wasn't sure if he'd mean it in the way she wanted him to…

"…Yeah…I think so," he said finally with a heavy sigh.

Vivian smiled up at him, a large grin running the length of her face. His heart ached guiltily at the sight of it.

"Me too," she said far more assuredly than he had.

If only he could be as sure as she sounded.

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Sam awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon filling the room. This was as good an alarm as Sam Puckett needed. In fact, it worked better than an actual alarm clock. She ended up throwing most normal alarm clocks to the ground in a sleepy rage. This resulted in many broken alarms and a Sam Puckett who overslept on a fairly regular basis. But, fill the room with the smell of sizzling bacon and Sam woke up almost immediately.

Opening her eyes, she adjusted to the bright room. Streams of late morning light were now pouring in through the blinds. With a yawn and a stretch, Sam got out of bed. She was wearing Shawn's long t-shirt, which hung heavily on her tiny frame, grazing the tops of her knees. It was a simple faded black t-shirt that had tiny holes dotting it. Of all of his t-shirts, this one was probably her favorite. She loved how worn in and comfortable it was. It wasn't fussy. It wasn't cumbersome or showy. It was comfortable. Easy. Simple. Just the way Sam liked things.

Quickly, she made her way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

"Morning, Sam," Shawn said brightly. He was going back and forth between dropping slices of bread into the toaster and scrambling eggs in a large skillet on top of the stove. There was a hefty plate of bacon sitting on the countertop behind him.

Immediately, Sam made her way towards the bacon.

"Good morning, bacon," she said longingly as she reached her hand out to pick up a slice…or five.

Shawn spun around, pan in hand, as he scooped some of the eggs out onto a plate on the countertop.

"I love how the bacon gets a good morning, but I don't," Shawn said with a laugh.

"Maybe I was talking to you," Sam replied through a mouthful of bacon.

"Bacon? You were calling me bacon?" he asked incredulously as he set the pan back onto the stove and retrieved the toast from the toaster.

"Hey, I really like bacon, so, I mean, I could have called you worse things," she said matter-of-factly as she pulled an old bar stool of Shawn's up to the counter.

Shawn simply laughed, placing the toast onto the plate with the eggs.

"Well, if you love it then I guess I can handle you calling me a meat product. Anyways, dig in." He pushed the plate, loaded with eggs and toast, in Sam's general direction.

"You know the way to my heart, kid," she replied, a large smile across her face as she stared ravenously at the plate in front of her.

Eventually, Shawn sat down, pulling a bar stool up to the counter next to Sam's.

"So…breakfast good?" Shawn asked, a knowing smirk on his face.

"Mhh-rrrr," Sam mumbled indistinguishably through her full mouth.

"Well, I'm not sure what 'mhhrrrr' means, but I'll assume that's yes."

Swallowing, Sam nodded with a laugh.

"Hey, so, what's up with that Vivian chick?"

At the sound of her name, Sam felt a strange queasy feeling rise up in her stomach, the memories of last night rushing back to her.

Her. A smidge too much Vodka. Freddie. A complete lack of personal space. Vivian's icy cold glare.

"Wh-What do you mean?" Sam asked, attempting to mask her nervousness with typical Puckett nonchalance.

"I don't know. She just…seems kind of…like a bit of a skunk bag…kind of irritating," he laughed.

"You can say that again," Sam replied.

Shawn laughed quietly before turning to look at Sam.

"I don't know what Freddie sees in that chick. Especially, after he's had you."

Sam felt herself tense at his words. She knew he'd meant it as a compliment, but for some reason that she couldn't quite explain, it had made her uncomfortable.

"Who knows what goes on inside that nub's head," she said with a forced laugh.

"Dude must be crazy," he laughed.

"Probably is," she said matter-of-factly.

"Can I ask you something, Sam?" Shawn asked suddenly, the tone of his voice turning serious.

"If this is about the 30 boxes of Canadian Fat Cakes that showed up at your door in conspicuously unmarked packages the other day, I can explain. See, I got this friend of mine to send them over. Long story there, but I needed a place to store them because-"

"Sam. Sam!" Shawn said, cutting her off. "Look. It's chill, okay? Really…

"Oh. Okay. Well, what is it then?"

"Well, I was just…I mean, you've been spending a lot of time here. Not that that's a bad thing. It's a good thing. It's a great thing. Awesome. I love it. So, I was just thinking that, I mean-Ya know, we've been together for a while now and I just…"

"Seriously, spit it out, kid," Sam laughed.

"SamWillYouMoveInWithMe…" Shawn said, the words rushing out of his mouth, almost indistinguishable from one another.

Sam could have sworn she'd heard him wrong. She had to have. He didn't just-?

"Wait, what?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Sam, will, will you uhm…move in, ya know…here…with me."

A blunt and rather harsh 'why' came fumbling out of Sam's mouth before she could stop it.

Slightly embarrassed, Shawn looked away, playing distractedly with the food left on his plate.

"Sorry, I knew it was stupid and kind of soon. I just figured you're here so much and I really like having you here and I know that, since Carly moved out, you've been having some trouble and stuff paying the rent for your guys' place, but…"

Shawn's voice trailed out, an awkwardness settling in between them.

It was true. Sam did spend a lot of time at Shawn's place. As Carly had so astutely pointed out, he already kept a separate place in his dresser and his bathroom for her stuff. It was also true that Sam had been struggling somewhat to pay the full rent for her and Carly's apartment since Carly had moved out. Recently, Carly had moved into Ben's apartment across town.

And it wasn't as if he'd asked her to marry him or anything.

It was just living together. It shouldn't have been a huge deal, but Sam couldn't help the strange feeling of being trapped that settled in around her as she contemplated his words.

It was silly, but in some ways, Sam felt like living together made things official, real, and vaguely claustrophobia inducing. It was one thing when she could come and go as she pleased, but it was another when she couldn't.

She liked her space. She liked her room in her apartment. She liked that it was always a mess, but in a way that made sense to her. Clothes always covered the floor and papers covered her desk in an almost unsightly way, but she could find everything she needed in a heartbeat; call it organized chaos.

She liked the days she'd sleep in late, wake up in her bed alone. She could lie there for hours, no one bothering her to do this or do that, no one hassling her for conversation.

Just her, alone, free to do whatever she pleased, whenever she pleased.

She liked that and the thought of giving that up didn't sit well with her.

"So," Shawn said as he shuffled leftover eggs across his plate.

"Let me think about it. Okay?" Sam said finally.

"Look, you don't have to if you don't want to. I get it. I just…I really like this," Shawn said as he motioned between them. "I like you and…us and we've been dating for a while now. I thought that maybe this would be a good way to…I don't know, take things to the next level? But if you're not into it, I get it. Really."

There were those 6 words. Those 6 dreaded words that always filled Sam with fear, no matter how many times she'd heard them before. Those 6 words that almost always sent her running. There it was. 'Take things to the next level'.

Next level always meant more serious. More serious always meant more commitment. More commitment always meant one step closer to 'till' death do us part'.

At least in Sam's mind, anyways and she wasn't ready for that.

She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready for that.

"I like you, Shawn. A lot. I do. Just…let me think about it."

At that very moment, Sam's phone rang, saving her from any further awkwardness.

"Thanks for breakfast," she said in an uncharacteristically sweet tone as she slid off of the barstool. She kissed Shawn quickly on the cheek before making her way out of the kitchen and back into the bedroom. She grabbed her pear phone from the nightstand where it lay.

"Hey Carls," she said as she answered the phone.

"Hey Sam," Carly chirped brightly.

"So, what's up kid?"

"Well, I know this is kind of last minute, but I was talking to Vivian last night and I suggested we all go out for lunch today. Ya know, you, Vivian, and me. It'll be like a girls' day out. I was hoping you guys could help me decide on some wedding stuff."

Sam sighed inwardly. It wasn't that she minded helping Carly with the wedding planning. Okay, she kind of did. Weddings weren't really her thing. All the fuss and muss over one day for something that, more likely than not, wouldn't even last, seemed like a waste to Sam. However, as Carly's best friend she felt a sort of obligation to help. What bothered Sam more though, was that Vivian was going to be there.

"Why'd you have to invite Vivian?" Sam whined.

"Because I'm playing nice, Sam. You should too."

After Sam didn't reply, Carly spoke up again.

"Look, I know she kind of gets under your skin."

"Understatement of the year, Shay," Sam muttered.

"BUT, she is Freddie's girlfriend and she's a nice girl..."

Carly was stopped by a sarcastic, "Of course," from the other end of the phone.

"Look, so she's ditzy and maybe she doesn't really think before she speaks, but she means well, Sam. Just give her a chance. Please?" Carly sighed.

"Leave it to Freddie to pick the most irritating specimen of girl he can find to be his girlfriend. Granted his options are rather limited, I'm sure," Sam complained.

"Sam," Carly replied warningly.

"Fine," she moaned.

"Good. I figured we could meet at that small café down the street from your place. Ya know, the one we went to with Spencer and Gloria a few months back? Freddie took Vivian there when she was here a few months ago so she knows where it is. Meet me there at around 1:30. Okay?"

"Kay, Carls."

"And Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Play nice."

"Ugh, yes mom," Sam sighed agitatedly as she rolled her eyes.

"See ya then," Carly said with a laugh as she hung up her phone.

Great. Another afternoon spent with Vivian. Perfect. Awesome. That was just what she wanted, especially after last night.

* * *

**A/N:** I wanted to delve a little more into Sam and Freddie's relationships with Shawn and Vivian respectively, so sorry for the lack of Sam and Freddie interaction (well, _real_ interaction anyways. lol) I think it helps you understand more about why they're with them. Like, upon first being introduced to Vivian she appears very shallow and ditzy and it might not make sense why Freddie is with her, but I wanted to show that when she's with Freddie she's (at least slightly) different. She's not totally vapid and she really does care about Freddie. I also wanted to lay some groundwork for the big things Shawn and Vivian threw at Sam and Freddie in this chapter (i.e. moving in together and marriage, respectively.)

Anyways, the next chapter is already done and, let's just say...the claws are coming out. ;)

Also, reviews make me happy. Just so you know...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own iCarly. Sadly, that honor belongs to a troll named Dan Schneider.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Sam arrived at the café nearly 10 minutes late. She was surprised to see that Carly hadn't arrived when she noticed Vivian sitting alone at a table on the small outdoor patio, closely inspecting a menu. She was wearing large sunglasses that seemed to take up the entire top half of her small face and she wore a flow-y turquoise maxi dress. Her fiery red hair lay pin straight, glimmering in the mid day sun. She looked out of place at the small and low-key café, like a b-list celebrity primed for a hoard of paparazzi. Had Sam been the type to care, she'd have been feeling severely underdressed in her old v-neck tee and faded boot cut jeans.

With a deep sigh, Sam made her way over to where Vivian sat.

"Hi, Vivian," Sam said with all the cheerfulness she could muster.

Vivian gazed up at her, her face unreadable. Like she'd done the night before with Shawn, she stared Sam up and down, as if silently judging her.

"Hello, Sam," she said finally, before tearing her gaze away from Sam and engrossing herself once more in the menu.

Awkwardly, Sam sat down and picked up a menu of her own. Pretending to be occupied in the selection (She'd eaten here enough times that she knew the menu inside and out. Reading it was fruitless.), Sam's mind wandered. Vivian's greeting had been chilly at best, not that it wasn't warranted, but Sam knew if Vivian kept her attitude up for too long that this little lunch date would not end well. She was trying to play nice, but that was hard to do when Vivian wasn't doing the same.

Searching around nervously, Sam jumped at the first thing she could think of to start a conversation.

"So, I heard Freddie brought you here?"

She regretted the words the moment they'd crossed her lips.

Gosh, get it together, Puckett.

Freddie.

That was the last person she should have mentioned. She sighed inwardly at her own stupidity. She was a Puckett loosing her cool. That did not happen. Ever.

This was what she got for trying to play nice. She fell a part. It just didn't work for her.

"Yeah," Vivian said simply, tearing her eyes away from the menu momentarily.

"Oh. That's…nice," Sam replied with faux cheerfulness.

An awkward and tense silence settled in between them and Sam wondered where Carly was. She was never late for anything. Of course she'd choose today of all days to start.

"Stay away from him."

Sam was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of Vivian's voice. She had taken off her sunglasses and was now staring rather determinedly at Sam.

"What?"

"Stay away from him," she said again.

"What are you even talking about?" Sam questioned incredulously.

"I saw your little show yesterday."

"Vivian, that was nothing," Sam replied with mounting irritation.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Vivian asked, an uncharacteristic bite to her tone.

"Actually, ye-" Sam started, before she was cut off. Sam could feel her annoyance and anger rising. Who did this chick think she was to tell _her_ to stay away from one of her _best friends_? Here Sam was trying to play nice and Vivan was coming at her with an attitude. This was not going to go over well.

"Just, do us both a favor and…keep your distance. I like him _a lot _and I don't need _anyone_ ruining that," she finished coolly.

Sam felt her face growing red and she could feel anger rising in her. She stood from her chair, not even sure what she'd planned on doing, when she was shaken from her livid haze by the sound of Carly's voice coming up behind her.

"Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late. Ben and I we're checking out some venues for the wedding and just completely lost track of time," Carly jabbered obliviously.

Vivian tore her gaze away from Sam and stared sweetly up at Carly, all prior signs of bitchiness gone from her face. Just like that. Maybe she really was a better actress than Sam had originally given her credit for.

"Oh, don't worry. It's not a problem at all. Sam and I were just talking," she drawled sweetly, giving Sam a fake grin.

"I'm leaving," Sam said suddenly. She couldn't believe she was letting that snotty little wench run her off, but it was either she leave now or Vivian would be shooting that movie of hers in a full body cast.

"But—But Sam? I wanted you guys to help me with my wedding stuff. Where are you going?" Carly asked, her eyes full of pleading. Staring back at Carly, Sam felt a small bit of her anger melt. Carly looked up at Sam, a mix of eagerness and disappointment on her face.

"Fine. I'll stay," Sam sighed, sitting back down. Carly smiled putting her arm around Sam's shoulder and pulling her into a slight side hug.

"You're the best, Sam," she said as she smiled. Sam looked up and away from Carly, her eyes locked on Vivian who was now smiling rather haughtily at her. Sam shot Vivian an icy glare, her eyes sending a silent threat in Vivian's direction. Playing nice was overrated.

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.

.

.

"So, I was thinking something with a sweetheart neckline and full skirt, like this one," Carly jabbered cheerfully as she pointed to one of the many magazine clippings now covering the table, "would be really cute. But I don't really like all the sparkle and beading, so then I was thinking something more like this one." Carly proceeded to pick up another magazine clipping off the table. This dress was simpler, with a short train and only a small satin sash that tied into a bow around the middle.

"Which one do you guys like better?" she asked cheerfully.

"Oh, I love the sweetheart neckline and I know you said you like, totally didn't want a ton of beading and stuff, but…it's like your wedding day, ya know? It's your one excuse to be totally over the top, all eyes on you. When _I_ get married, I'm totally going all out. Tons of beading, super sparkly and a train a mile long," Vivian giggled girlishly.

Sam held back her urge to gag.

"What do you think, Sam?" Carly asked hopefully.

"Uhmm…well, I kind of like the other one. I mean, it's less fussy. This one would make you look like a disco ball," Sam replied in bored monotone as she took another bite from her hamburger.

"Hmmm…" Vivian said from across the table.

"Is there a problem, Vivian?" Sam asked, irritated.

"No," Vivian began sweetly. "I just don't think you really…how do I put this, 'get' the whole wedding thing. It's about being a princess for a day. Why would you want to wear some boring old dress?"

"Princess? Seriously? How old are you? 12?-" Carly cut Sam off before she could continue.

"Uhmm, you know what? I'm kind of tired of looking at dresses. After about 100 of these things, they all start to look the same," she said unconvincingly as she gathered the magazines from the table and placed them carefully back into her purse.

Sam, Carly, and Vivian sat in awkward silence as they continued to eat, Sam taking more vigorous bites out of her sandwich than necessary as Vivian picked daintily at the salad on her plate.

"So, have you been enjoying your time here in Seattle?" Carly asked Vivian in strained pleasantness.

"Yeah, totally," Vivian said as her face lit up. "I'm always telling Freddie this, but I could totally see myself living here one day. I mean, New York is nice and everything, but after 22 years it gets kind of old. A change would be good."

You want a change? How about a move to Antarctica, or the Sahara desert, or a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, Sam thought silently.

"Oh. That's great to hear," Carly replied.

Vivian was silent a moment before speaking up again.

"And I think it might actually happen, sooner rather than later if everything goes well."

"What?" Sam asked before she could stop herself.

Sam expected Vivian to glare at her, but instead she smiled, a sickeningly sweet look twisting her features.

"Me. Moving here, silly," she laughed. "Not to like 'jump the gun' or anything but, I think Freddie is it. I think he's…the one, ya know? I think he's going to ask me to marry him."

Sam felt her heart stop.

Marry? Freddie?

"Ar-Are you serious?" Carly spit out incredulously.

"Well, I mean, he hasn't actually asked me or anything, but, we were talking and he said…one day…and, don't tell him I told you this, but I asked him if he thought he'd found…ya know, the one and he said yeah," Vivian said dreamily, a large grin spreading the length of her face.

Carly's gaze shifted from Vivian to Sam, who hadn't said a word.

If she was being honest, she didn't have much to say and even if she had, it was unlikely she'd have been able to say it due to the strange tight feeling spreading through her chest. It was as if the wind had been knocked out of her and she was incapable of forming a coherent sentence, let alone a comprehensible word.

Sam sat in partially stunned silence, a potent mixture of disappointment and disbelief now weighing heavily on her chest.

"Well...uhm…wow. Uhm, congratulations," Carly finally choked out.

"Aww thank you, Carly," she replied sweetly.

"Of course, you know, one day could mean anything," she added quickly, a strange look in Sam's direction.

Vivian's face fell, if only for a minute, as if she were momentarily disappointed by the truth of Carly's words.

"Well, true, but I mean, we're talking about it so that's something. I mean, it's bound to happen eventually," she said, her confidence returning.

"Mhmm," Carly replied, her gaze cast downward.

"Marrying Freddie? Seriously," Sam finally said, breaking her silence. There was a bitter derisiveness to her tone. "Good Luck with that one."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Vivian asked, her tone turning sharp and biting in an instant.

Sam went to speak up, but Carly cut her off with a pleading look.

"Nothing. Meant nothing, Vivian," Sam replied, biting her tongue.

They gazed scornfully at one another until Sam spoke up again.

"Well, since we're all sharing such _happy_ news," Sam began, a bitter cheerfulness to her tone, "I have some news of mine own to share."

Carly and Vivian eyed Sam curiously, though Vivian's look was tinged with disdain.

"Shawn and I are moving in together," Sam paused for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not to say the next words that inevitably spilled out of her mouth, "and I mean, with that happening, it's really only a matter of time before the kid is down on one knee asking Mama to marry him, right?" she said, a forced laugh following her words.

Sam wasn't sure why she'd said it. Just ten minutes ago she hadn't even decided whether or not she was going to move in with Shawn and now she was, not only agreeing to live with him, but also alluding to proposals of marriage?

What was she saying?

At Sam's words, Carly shot her an even more incredulous and shocked look than the one she'd given Vivian just moments before.

"Sam, are you serious?"

"Serious as a heart attack," she answered with faux self-assurance.

"Sam 'I hate commitment' Puckett, is talking living together and marriage? I-," Carly paused, as if trying to find the right words. "I'm speechless"

"Well, thanks for that vote of confidence, Shay," Sam replied sarcastically.

"Oh, but it's not a bad thing. I'm just surprised…but I mean, if you're serious about this…I'm happy for you. If you really think he's…it" she paused, curiously eyeing Sam & then Vivian, "then I'm happy for you."

Sam was silent as Carly still gazed at her questioningly.

"Well, congratulations, Sam," Vivian replied, a curious grin on her face. "I'm thrilled to hear things are going _so _well with Shawn. Really."

She eyed Sam intriguingly after she spoke, reading her face closely.

"Well," Carly began, "I have hundreds of these things at home…literally, hundreds. Every time I go to the store, I can't help but buy them. They all essentially say the same thing, but I just can't help it. Anyways, I figure I can spare two...for future reference," she said as she reached into her bag and handed Sam and Vivian each a copy of a different wedding magazine. She watched Sam's face closely as she handed her the glossy magazine as if trying to read some hidden expression.

Sam stared down at the magazine Carly had just handed her. "Wonderful World of Weddings" was written across the top in hot pink letters. A cheerful model smiled up at Sam from the cover, a voluminous ball gown wedding dress engulfing her tiny figure. She wore a lacey veil and her hair was stacked high on her head in an ornate mass of blonde curls. Along the sides of the picture were a variety of articles. Sam read them slowly as her gaze scanned the cover: "Kiss Wedding Jitters Goodbye", "Top 10 Honeymoon Hot Spots", "Till Death Do Us Part: Life AFTER the Honeymoon".

Sam sighed inwardly. She was not planning on marrying Shawn. She wasn't even sure she was going to move in with him, so what had possessed her to make Carly and Vivian think otherwise?

"Oh, I've always wanted a wedding on the beach. Do you think Freddie would like that?" Vivian gushed as she stared down at her own magazine. A picture of an empty and sprawling white sand beach at sunset filled the length of the page.

Immediately, Sam's mind flashed to Freddie, standing in a scene very similar to the one in the magazine. He was smiling that smirk that always seemed to make her knees go weak, but for once, he wasn't aiming it in her direction. He was aiming it at Vivian, who was walking towards him in a flow-y white gown, her red hair blowing in the cool ocean breeze.

She mentally gagged, quickly pushing the thought from her mind. A wedding on a beach? How much more cliché and nubish could you get? She sighed bitterly.

However, as the bitterness subsided, it was replaced once more by that familiar feeling of disappointment.

She knew what it meant. Just like she knew what it had meant when she'd watched Vivian drag Freddie away.

She knew what it meant.

She still had feelings for him.

She still wanted him.

And she hated it.

* * *

**A/N: **So, there's a lot of "stretching of the truth" going on here. Blame it on Vivan's insecurity and desire to crush any hope she _thinks_ Sam has of a romantic reconciliation with Freddie, thus destroying any chance of Sam and Freddie ever getting together again. Also, I think Sam is a lot more reserved and chilled out in regards to Vivian's actions in this chapter than she might normally be written as, but I'd like to think that at this point in Sam's life she has relaxed at least a little and isn't AS quick to pull out the butter sock on someone (Of course, she had that moment where she was rather close. Thank Goodness for Carly Shay's impecable timing.) Oh, and lest Carly's actions seem odd (especially the magazine bit at the end), there is a reason for her behavior. Let's just say that she's not as oblivious as she seems. Big Carly/Sam moment in the next chapter and some more major revelations as well...


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **And I still don't own iCarly...sadly.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"So…are you really moving in with Shawn?" Carly asked curiously.

She was sitting curled up on the end of the sofa, flipping through yet another wedding magazine. After lunch with Vivian, Sam and Carly had made their way back to Sam's place.

Sam was silent as she stared blankly at the TV screen in front of her, flipping aimlessly through the channels.

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't," she answered noncommittally.

"Yeah, because Sam 'Best Liar in Seattle' Puckett would never say something if it wasn't true," Carly joked playfully.

Sam sighed.

"I'm moving in with him. Why is that so hard to believe? Weren't you all excited about this like…an hour ago?"

"I was. I mean…I am. I just…It kind of surprised me is all. I mean, the other day you didn't even want to admit you were dating him and…now you're ready to move in and accepting me giving you wedding magazines?"

"Well, believe it or not I would like to get married eventually, Carls. Being old, alone, and bitter is something I'd like to avoid. Have you talked to my mom lately? It's not pretty."

"But…to Shawn?"

"Okay, what is up with this sudden inquisition? You were all 'you're basically married' and 'oh, here's a wedding magazine to plan your inevitable wedding on some nub-y little beach' and now that I'm actually agreeing with you, you don't believe it's genuine?"

Carly sighed exasperatedly.

"Look, I don't doubt that you really really like Shawn, but…this is kind of sudden and I just don't want you rushing into anything…for the wrong reasons."

"I like him. He likes me. He makes me breakfast. It'd save me money. I don't see how any of those are the 'wrong' reasons," Sam replied.

Carly set down her magazine, smiling somewhat sadly at Sam.

"So, you mean this decision has nothing to do with-"

"Don't even say it, Carly," Sam began, cutting her off. "This has nothing to do with them. Why would even think that?"

Carly simply laughed, shaking her head.

"Remember when we we're 15, and those criminals that had escaped from jail had duck tapped us to those chairs and while we we're sitting there, we promised each other no more secrets?"

"I hardly remember what I did last night, let alone what I promised years ago kid," Sam lied.

"And you're lying. See, that's another thing, Sam. You may be a really convincing liar to most people, but I've known you long enough to know when you're lying to me."

"Is this going somewhere, Carly?" Sam asked in a feigned bored monotone.

"We promised no more secrets and, even if you say you don't remember that now," Carly said with a dismissive laugh, "So…I'm asking you this. Tell me, honestly, that this decision has nothing to do with Freddie?"

Sam was quiet, her gaze focused steadfastly on the floor. She knew the answer. She'd known it the moment that feeling of disappointment had spread from the pit of her stomach and wrapped itself tightly around her heart as they'd sat at the restaurant, Vivian blabbering on about weddings and…Freddie.

Though it was petty, she now knew exactly why she'd said what she'd said at the restaurant, at least in retrospect. She knew why she had been throwing around marriage and living together and all the things that, only 24 hours ago, seemed so vehemently opposed to everything Sam Puckett was.

In a pitiful attempt to change the subject, Sam spoke up.

"You know what would be really good right now? A ham sandwich and what do you know? I don't have any ham. Crazy right? I think I'll just go get-" Sam rambled as she made to stand, before Carly cut her off.

"Sam! Just admit it. You still have feelings for Freddie and all of that stuff with Shawn is because of what Vivian said about marrying Freddie," Carly sighed, giving Sam a look of exasperated disbelief.

Sam said nothing, avoiding her brunette friend's pointed gaze.

"Sam, I see the way you look at him. You can't tell me that look doesn't mean anything."

Sam said nothing, her mind flashing back to the other night, her and Freddie catching one another's eye for a moment too long to be comfortable.

"And I saw you two last night, Sam" Carly continued, a knowing smirk spreading across her face.

"So, we danced together. Whatever. We we're at club. You dance. That's typically what people do."

"True, but there's 'dancing' and then there's the sort of dancing where you kind of want to tell the people involved to get a room. You were bordering on the latter."

"One: You're completely exaggerating. Two: Okay, so I'm physically attracted to the nub. I admit it. Whatever. That doesn't mean I'm still in love with him or anything," Sam argued.

"Sam, just admit it. You're still in love with Freddie," Carly said, reaching out and placing a light hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam sighed.

She was cornered. Sure, she could continue to argue, but it would be fruitless. Carly was persistent by nature. If she wanted to find something out, she would. She always would.

"Okay so…maybe I kind of sort of still…have feelings for him. It's not like it matters. He's with Vivian and you heard her today. She's already thinking about their nub-y little wedding. Besides, I've got Shawn and like I said, I like him. He likes me. I get breakfast in bed and good sex. It's not exactly a bad deal."

Carly laughed slightly.

"Except there are more important things in a relationship than good breakfast."

"Carly, that's like saying there's better bacon out there than Bolivian bacon. False," Sam joked.

"Love, Sam," Carly replied seriously.

"Maybe I'm in love with Shawn," Sam reasoned.

Carly smirked knowingly. "Right…"

"Okay, fine," Sam caved irritated. "I still…I'm still…maybe…kind of…a little bit…in," Sam paused, as if bracing herself for the words that were about to cross her lips, "…in love with Freddie and…I don't…I'm not…I love Shawn, but I don't think I'm…in love with Shawn. I admit it. Okay? Are you happy?"

"It's not about me being happy, Sam. It's about you being happy," Carly smiled sadly.

Sam said nothing as she turned her gaze away from Carly.

"I know, this is tough…with Shawn and Vivian but, I think you should tell Freddie how you feel."

"Tell him how I feel? Ha. I'd have to get him alone without Vivian around for that to happen and I'm pretty sure she's never going to let that happen ever again. Especially after her whole psycho girlfriend 'stay away from him' freak out at lunch today."

Carly shot Sam a confused look.

"What a skunk bag," Carly said after Sam had finished recounting the events that had occurred at lunch before she'd arrived.

"Right?"

"Not that I necessarily blame her…"

Sam shot Carly a look of incredulous disbelief.

"All I'm saying is, obviously she's threatened by you and…with good reason clearly."

"Just because I still have feelings for him doesn't mean he feels the same. I doubt he does. I'm really not much of a threat, well not emotionally. Maybe physically. Pretty sure I would have pulled out my butter sock on her or something at lunch if you hadn't shown up," Sam replied half-heartedly.

"Oh please, Sam. Just like I see the way you look at him, I see the way he looks at you. I've been best friends with you two since we were prepubescent. I think I know you guys pretty well and I can tell when you're into someone…specifically when you're into each other," Carly replied, a smug smile spread across her face. She paused, her face growing serious again as she made to speak up. "He took it hard ya know…when you guys broke up last time. He didn't want to but he figured you did so he went along with it. He really cared about you…and I know he's got Vivian now and she's talking about marrying him or whatever, but I don't think he'll ever love her the way he loved you," Carly paused. "You have to tell him how you feel, Sam."

"Easier said than done, Carls," Sam said. "Easier said than done…."

.

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"I've had a lot of fun, Freddie. I kind of hate to leave," Vivian said quietly from the passenger seat. The car radio played quietly in the background, almost inaudible.

"I know. I wish you didn't have to leave either," Freddie replied distractedly, his gaze glued to the train of taillights in front of him.

"Well, you know there's a way to fix that…right?" She said it jokingly, but the implication was there and with that implication came that all too familiar feeling of being trapped.

"Yeah," Freddie replied with an admittedly rather lame smile. He couldn't think of how else to respond. If she was aiming for a proposal on the spot or some sort of promise, he couldn't do it. He knew that. He'd already told her as much.

He just wasn't ready yet.

Though Freddie couldn't see it, a deflated look settled over Vivian's features as she leaned back into her seat and turned to gaze out the window.

"So, how was lunch with Carly and Sam?" Freddie asked, attempting to change the subject and fill the silence that had settled between them.

"Oh, it…it was great, actually. Carly is so excited for the wedding. It's way adorable how thrilled she is. Too cute. I'm so happy for her…"Vivian paused a moment more before continuing, "And Sam too, of course. Shawn seems like a nice guy," Vivian finished brightly, a curious twinkle in her green eyes.

"Yeah. He seems like a decent guy, I guess," Freddie replied. In truth, he'd never been a fan of Shawn. From what Sam had told Freddie, Shawn was a "musician". What that really seemed to translate to was that he sat around in his apartment all day screwing around on his drums. Apparently, he hadn't had a paying gig in months. Evidently, he'd once been in some local rock band. Sam had forced Freddie to watch a few of his old band's performances on Splash Face. They hadn't been very good. In fact, if Freddie was being honest, they were downright terrible. For reasons Freddie couldn't understand though, Sam had been highly impressed. Freddie supposed it was the musician thing…or maybe the vague bad boy edge that his penchant for tattoos and black leather jackets gave off. Other than Freddie, most of Sam's boyfriends had been…edgier…more like Shawn. Freddie had been an anomaly.

"Though I've got to say, she never really struck me as the marrying kind," Vivian added.

"What do you mean?" Freddie asked confused.

"Oh, you don't know? I'm surprised she didn't tell you. Oh, maybe I shouldn't either. Maybe she wants it to be a surprise," Vivian labored.

"Wait, what is it? What are you talking about, Viv?" Freddie asked, his curiosity growing.

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this…"

"She's one of my best friends. I doubt she'll care," Freddie reasoned, more pleading in his voice than he'd expected. Marrying kind? What was she talking about? They weren't…were they? She wouldn't…That would be ridiculous.

"Well, her and Shawn are…they're moving in together and, word has it that she thinks he might be possibly asking her to marry him soon! Isn't that adorable? She seemed totally thrilled about it when we talked at lunch. I'm so happy for her," Vivian cooed.

Moving in? Getting Married? To Shawn? What? No. That didn't make sense. Only a few nights ago, she'd had a hard enough time admitting to Carly that she was serious about the guy and now she was moving in with him…talking about getting married? Sam Puckett, the girl who always seemed to run when things got serious (and he knew that from personal experience), was thinking about moving in with Shawn…and was hoping he'd ask her to marry him?

Freddie's thoughts were reeling. It made no sense at all.

As he played Vivian's words over in his head, he couldn't help the sudden weighty feeling that'd begun to form in his chest, though he did his best to ignore it.

It didn't help that he was also slightly miffed at the fact that Sam had told Vivian all of this before she'd even told him. He was one of her best friends. Why hadn't she told him yet? Who else knew? Was he the only one left who didn't?

"Isn't that great news?" Vivian asked sweetly from the passenger seat. There was a seemingly self-satisfied smile on her face.

"Uh—Yeah. Yeah totally," Freddie finally managed to spit out. "I…I just guess I…I never really saw her as the marrying type either to be honest, especially so soon…"

"Well, she seems really happy about it. Maybe something changed her mind," Vivian replied.

"Yeah…Maybe…"

But what?

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"How do you feel about making Spaghetti tacos for Carly's wedding?" Sam asked Spencer between bites of her taco.

"Sam, I'm not having spaghetti tacos at my wedding reception," Carly replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Why not? I think that's a great idea," Spencer began. "Me and Gloria had them at ours and everyone loved them."

"Yeah, well, you're wedding was Mexican wrestling themed and took place in Socko's backyard. Spaghetti tacos made sense."

"Yeah…even then it didn't really make sense," Gloria spoke up with a laugh.

Gloria was Spencer's wife of 4 years.

"Hey, I thought you loved the tacos?" Spencer said with a pout on his face.

"Aww, I did. I just…understand and respect your sister's wishes to keep them far away from her wedding."

"Suit yourself," Spencer replied, a slightly dejected look upon his face.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door.

"That's probably Freddie," Carly said nonchalantly.

"It's open," Spencer yelled.

"Where were you, Freddie?" Carly asked casually as Freddie walked in. "You're late."

"Sorry," Freddie began as he pulled out a seat from the table and sat down. A distracted look muddled his features. "I was dropping Vivian off at the airport."

At the sound of Vivian's name Carly gazed knowingly at Sam, who quickly changed the subject.

"Hey, someone want to pass me another taco?"

"Sam, you've already had 6," Carly responded.

"…So?"

Sighing, Carly picked up the plate of tacos and passed them down to Sam.

"Sorry to hear Vivian had to head home, Freddo," Spencer said.

"Yeah. This long distance thing is kind of crazy, but what can you do?"

"Well, you could do like Carly here and get hitched," Spencer joked flippantly as he took another bite into his taco.

Sam felt her stomach turn slightly as Carly caught her gaze again. This time, the strange looks passed between the two girls didn't go unnoticed, by Gloria at least. She stared curiously back and forth between them.

A strange awkwardness filled the room as Freddie laughed somewhat uncomfortably.

"So…" Carly began, attempting to break the awkward silence. "I think I might have found my dress. Sam helped me pick it out earlier."

'Helped pick out' was giving Sam too much credit. It was more like Sam had nodded rather noncommittally as she laid on the sofa staring at the TV screen before her while Carly held up a seemingly never ending slew of wedding dress pictures.

"Oh, Carly you'll have to show me what it looks like. Do you have a picture?" Gloria asked.

"Of course she does," Sam began. "She carries those magazine clippings with her everywhere."

"I do not," Carly defended. Sam gave Carly a knowing look as she picked up her purse and pulled out a picture of the dress.

"Oh hush," Carly laughed sheepishly in Sam's direction as she handed the picture to Gloria.

"Oh, Carly this dress is gorgeous!" Gloria cooed excitedly. "Kind of reminds you of my dress, doesn't it Spencer?"

Spencer glanced at the picture.

"Oh…yeah. Definitely."

"Do you even remember what my dress looked like?" Gloria laughed.

"Uhmm…like that?" Spencer replied clumsily.

Gloria glared jokingly at Spencer before turning to face Carly again. "Anyways, the dress is gorgeous. You're going to look so beautiful."

"Thanks! I'm so excited. I spent all morning calling around seeing if anyone had this dress and there's this little boutique near by that said they might have it. Sam's going with me tomorrow to check it out…and maybe to take a look at some bride's maids' dresses," Carly finished in a singsong voice as she turned to face Sam.

"Ugh, Carly do I have to," Sam groaned.

"Sam, you're my maid of honor, of course you have to come."

"Why did I agree to that again?"

"Because you're my best friend. Besides, it won't be that bad. It'll be fun," Carly reasoned.

Sam sighed in resignation.

"Maybe you could start checking out wedding dresses of your own," Freddie mumbled, almost inaudible, as he stared down at his plate of half eaten spaghetti tacos.

Sam and Carly turned quickly to look at Freddie, momentarily confused by his comment.

"I mean, with you moving in with Shawn and everything. It's only a matter of time before he's down on one knee, right?" Freddie joked. Carly noticed there was a vague hint of bitterness and bite to his tone, gone so fast that if she hadn't been watching him so closely she'd have missed it.

"You too, kid?" Spencer asked Sam, surprised.

"I—what, what are you even talking about, Benson?" Sam asked, ignoring Spencer. Maybe if she acted like she had no idea what he was talking about he'd let it go.

"You don't need to pretend. Vivian told me. Congratulations," Freddie said. Though his face was contorted into a small congratulatory grin, his voice was tinged with an almost unnoticeable callousness.

"Wait, what is going on?" Spencer asked, a look of total confusion painted across his face. "Who's moving in where? Sam is getting married?"

Sam sighed inwardly, mentally slapping herself for what she'd said at lunch with Vivian the other day. She should have known Vivian would be sure to tell Freddie. Surely she'd relished in letting that little bit of information slip.

Just then, Freddie's phone rang. Haphazardly pulling the phone out of his pocket, he glanced quickly at the screen.

"Well, thanks for dinner. Tacos were great as always Spencer and sorry about being late, but I'm going to have to head out early tonight," he said as he stood up.

Without so much as a look back he made his way across the Shays' living room and out the door.

"Uhmmm…What just happened?" Spencer asked confused.

Sam said nothing, staring bewilderedly at the spot where Freddie had been sitting only moments before.

* * *

**A/N:** If only Sam and Freddie could get on the same page, things wouldn't be such a mess. ;P


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Sam, will you stop fussing with it. It looks fine," Carly said as she glanced at Sam's reflection in the large rounded mirror.

Sam patted down the multiple layers of tulle that made up the skirt of the bright pink monstrosity she was wearing.

"Carly, I look like a Fat Cake…and not the good kind, either?" Sam whined.

"You mean to tell me there's a bad kind of Fat Cake?" Carly laughed.

"Hmm…good point, but this dress is still awful."

"Yeah…you're right. It's a bit too…" Carly paused as if thinking up the right words.

"Ugly? Gross? Disgusting? Horri-," Sam began.

"I get the point, Sam. It's bad," Carly laughed.

"So, can I take it off now?"

"Yes, you can, but try on that other one I picked out-the red one."

"Carly, this is the 900th dress. Do I have to?"

"Yes, Sam. Come on. That's the last one for today. I promise,"

"You're lucky you're my best friend, Carls, because I would not endure this torture for anyone else."

"Appreciated," Carly replied as Sam turned on her heal and made her way back into the dressing room.

With a slight struggle, she pulled the fluffy pink disaster off of her body and carelessly threw it onto the floor. Quickly she pulled the red dress off of the hanger and slid it on.

The dress was simple. It had a fitted bodice that flattered Sam's curves nicely and it flowed out at the hips.

Sam regarded her reflection in the mirror. She had to admit, she looked kind of hot.

"Are you ready yet?" Carly yelled.

"Hold your horses, kid. I'm coming," Sam yelled as she opened the door and made her way back out of the dressing room.

Carly's eyes widened as Sam stepped out.

"Sam, that dress is gorgeous," Carly squeaked excitedly.

"Gotta say, Mama does look pretty hot," Sam laughed.

"See, now aren't you glad I told you try it on?"

"Glad? No. But, I'll admit. I like it."

"Wait until Freddie sees you in that," Carly said absentmindedly as she stared at the dress.

Freddie.

Sam hadn't seen or spoken to him since his bizarrely quick exit from Spencer's the night before. She'd called him once last night and once this morning, but only succeeded in reaching his voicemail and the text message she'd sent had gotten no reply. His behavior had puzzled her. Sure, she'd tossed around a few reasons to explain his strange actions and abrupt exit, the wildest of which had him being, dare she say it, jealous of the possibility of her moving in with Shawn. Sam hadn't let herself dwell too much on that possibility though. There was still Vivian and her dreams of nubby beach weddings after all…

Carly caught sight of Sam's vacant look.

"You haven't talked to him, have you?" Carly asked knowingly.

"Nope."

"You two are idiots. Do you know that?"

"Okay. First of all, I like how you waited to insult me until after I'd tried on like 900 dresses for you. Make me do your dirty work then insult me…" Sam paused, a grin spreading the length of her face. "I see I've taught you well. Second of all, 'scuse' you? Pretty sure Benson is the only idiot here. He was the one who was acting all weird yesterday for no reason. He left like he'd heard Crazy calling him to come home for a tick bath. He was the one acting all bizarre-o yesterday…not me."

Carly stared knowingly at Sam.

"Oh, Sam will you stop. You know exactly why he acted the way he did yesterday."

"No, I'm quite certain I don't know, Carls," Sam replied.

"Seriously, Sam?" Carly sighed, exasperation in her voice.

"Seriously."

"You really don't get it? Like, really? You have no clue why he'd act all standoffish after he found out that you were moving in with some guy and, oh I don't know, tossing around the idea of marrying him?"

"But I'm not doing any of that," Sam sighed.

"But he doesn't know that, Sam."

Sam said nothing as she stared rather sheepishly at the ground. She knew where Carly was going with this. She knew exactly where Carly was going with this and she'd even played with the idea herself, but it was too much to hope for. She wouldn't let herself think THAT was the reason, at the expense of being wrong. As uncharacteristically sappy as it sounded, she wasn't sure she could handle hoping for it only for it to turn out wrong.

"Sam, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that he's upset and obviously feeling kind of awkward about this whole Shawn thing…"

Sam made to speak up, but Carly cut her off.

"And I KNOW you said you don't think he feels the same way anymore and that he's got Vivian and all, but…I know you two and, like I said, I see the way he looks at you, Sam. He still cares…and last night, last night just proved it."

"It still doesn't matter though. He has Vivian and she's already made it pretty clear where things are going with them. Maybe he did love me, but…he loves her now, Carly," she said, her heart aching as she did so. She'd always known it of course, but saying it out loud made it real. Saying out loud that he loved someone else made her feel like she'd really lost him. "Anyways, just because he's annoyed at the idea of me…ya know…really being with Shawn or whatever doesn't mean he still…likes me or anything. Maybe he just…"

"Maybe he just what, Sam?" Carly replied; knowing Sam had no other answer, no other excuse.

When Sam said nothing Carly spoke up once more.

"I've watched both of you get together, only to break up, only to get back together, to break up again, to date other people, to break up with them, to hook up with each other. It's like a never-ending cycle with you two and maybe…maybe that means something, Sam. Maybe you guys just aren't supposed to let go. Maybe you aren't supposed to move on. Maybe this is fate's crazy way of trying to get you to wake up. You guys have already screwed this up twice. You've got another chance, Sam."

Carly stared thoughtfully at Sam, her hand resting lightly on her shoulder in a motherly fashion. Typically, Sam didn't take well to Carly's mothering nature. She was a big girl. She could handle herself just fine, but in that moment she didn't feel like fighting it off.

She didn't feel like fighting anything anymore.

Especially her feelings for Freddie.

She still couldn't shake the worry though, that this was all some how nothing more than incredibly misplaced wishful thinking and projected feelings.

Carly spoke up again.

"You're my best friend. You mean the world to me and I just want you to be happy. You've got another shot, Sam. Make a move…before it's too late."

There was a strange familiarity to Carly's words that, though Sam couldn't quite place them, resonated somewhere in the deep recesses of her memory.

"Like they say, third time's a charm, right?" Carly said with a genuine smile.

And Sam couldn't help the small one she gave in return.

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Freddie sat at his desk, his eyes staring uninterestedly at the computer screen in front of him. He'd been staring at the same email for the past hour, not actually reading it so much as using it as an excuse to have something productive and work related on his screen lest anyone walk by.

Work, however, was the furthest thing from his mind. Ever since he'd found out about Sam and Shawn, he'd been in a bit of an unshakeable daze. It still didn't make sense to him. Even after having time to sleep on it, it still didn't make any sense.

Vivian's words echoed in his head.

"_Maybe something changed her mind…"_

But what? What had happened in only a week's time that had changed her attitude 180 degrees?

What was beginning to concern Freddie even more than what had caused the change in Sam, was the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about it. He couldn't stop thinking about her, nor could he shake the feeling of disappointment that had settled in the pit of his stomach since hearing the news.

Simply put, he couldn't shake the fact that he cared. He still cared about her.

And he still cared because…

Freddie sighed, closing his eyes tightly as if to block out the inevitable conclusion he'd come to, but it was futile.

He knew it. From the constant dreams that seemed to plague his sleep to the disappointment that hung over him like a heavy gray cloud, it was clear.

He still had feelings for her…feelings that, if he was being honest, had him feeling as if he'd finally lost her.

_Lost her._

As Freddie repeated the words in his head, he couldn't help but laugh slightly bitterly. What was there to lose? She hadn't been his to lose. They'd been over for ages now. They were with other people. There was nothing to lose; yet he couldn't shake the feeling that there was.

Maybe, Freddie reasoned, it had something to do with the comfortable pattern they'd grown into. When both of them got out of relationships, they always seemed to end up together, even if they weren't actually together. They always seemed to settle back into this comfortable, admittedly rather couple-y, routine; watching (or more appropriately not watching) movies at Sam's apartment, dinners at Pini's that Freddie always found himself paying for, or nights out at that bar down the street from his place (drinks on him, of course) where they'd sit for hours lamenting the stupidity and pointlessness of love and relationships…only to end up back at his place or hers.

But it was always with one tiny caveat: they were 'just friends'. When the movie was over, Freddie would go home and nothing would change. When the slightly drunken haze wore off, Sam would leave Freddie's bed quietly, not bothering to wake him, and when they saw each other again, they were still, 'just friends.'

Another bitter laugh echoed in Freddie's head. 'Just friends'. They were hollow, empty words. Meaningless. In retrospect he realized that they were words he'd used because he didn't want to mess things up by pointing out what he really felt and what they really were. They were simple words protecting the thin illusion that they were just each other's friendly safety nets.

Maybe all along it'd been this bizarre way of being in a relationship without actually being in one. The pressure that always seemed to break them was non-existent, because they weren't together. Yet, in that strange relationship-but-not-really, Freddie had found an unspoken promise, or so he'd thought. It was the unspoken promise of one day. It was the promise that one-day they'd say screw it with the relationships that always ended and they'd get back together, for real. One day…

But there was no one-day. There never had been. It had all been Freddie's wishful thinking. Nothing more than a stupid boy hanging on to words spoken so many years ago in a quiet elevator…words that surely Sam had forgotten by now.

Just then, Freddie's work phone rang, shaking him out of his reverie.

"Hi Freddie!" Vivian's voice rang cheerfully through the receiver.

"Uhm, Hey. What's up?" Freddie replied, his tone a strained mix of awkward and sullen.

"Nothing really. I called your cell phone, but you didn't answer," she said, questioning in her tone.

"Oh yeah. Sorry. I've been having a bit of an off morning and I forgot my phone at home," he replied.

"Oh…Okay. Well, I just wanted to call and say thank you so much for such a good few days. It was so good getting to spend time with you again. I already miss you," she replied sweetly.

Freddie was silent a moment before finally speaking up.

"I…I miss you too," he replied, more of a question than a statement.

He thought back on Vivian's visit and on the fact that much of the time he'd spent with her, he hadn't actually been _with_ her, at least not mentally. Sam had consumed all of his thoughts over the length of Vivian's visit and it hadn't occurred to him until now.

Of course he also now realized that it had all been for naught, wasting time thinking about Sam. In one swift and harsh moment of reality crashing down on him, he realized that.

Sure, he did still care about her and there were still feelings there, but it didn't matter.

None of it mattered anymore.

There was no one-day, no eventually for him and Sam. Sam had made that clear, intentionally or not. She was moving on, past old habits and antiquated feelings. She had Shawn now. She was happy and Freddie wanted that for her, more than he wanted anything else. He'd always wanted that for her and if Shawn was what made her happy, he didn't have the heart to stop it.

He couldn't do that to her.

No matter how much he wanted to.

Besides, he had Vivian: this fun loving, vivacious, gorgeous girl who loved him and wanted to be with him.

He realized now how awful he'd been the past few days, lost in an unshakable funk over a girl who no longer cared for him the way he did for her. He'd been wasting time, clinging to something that no longer existed.

That was stopping now though. It had to. He had no other choice.

Sure, he couldn't make his feelings for Sam that still remained just disappear. He couldn't make it stop all at once, but he could try to move past it. Now that he was no longer in denial about what he felt, he could try to move on. He could try to stop wasting his time thinking about Sam and instead invest his time in Vivian.

All of his feelings for Sam aside, he _did_ care about Vivian. There was no question about that. It'd just been clouded the past few days thanks to Sam. But Vivian, he did care about her and he did like her well enough. He was attracted to her…and maybe, maybe he could love her, eventually. Surely, there was no reason he shouldn't. Only an idiot wouldn't, right? What wasn't there to love about her?

"Anyways, I've got to go. First day of filming is kind of crazy," Vivian said finally speaking up again. In the background, Freddie could hear someone calling her name.

"So, I'll talk to you later?," she asked cheerily.

"Uhm. Yeah. Sure thing," he replied distractedly.

"Great! Bye Freddie," she replied as she hung up the phone.

Freddie released a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding in.

Getting over Sam was going to be hard, but he had no choice and besides, he owed it to Vivian...and Shawn...and himself...and Sam.

He just needed to figure out where to start...

* * *

**A/N: **So, Freddie is doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing, but he isn't aware of that because...Sam and Freddie aren't communicating. It's frustrating, but I also think it's realistic and true to the characters. Even on the actual show right now, I feel like lack of communication is Sam and Freddie's biggest issue. If they would just talk, I think they could fix a lot of the misunderstandings that have happened between them lately (*cough* iOAR *cough*). Of course, what's a story without a little frustrating miscommunication, right...right? Anyways, while I can't speak for the show itself, I can speak for this story and in this case, resolution will come soon (it's just going to be a bit of a bumpy road getting there. It'll be worth it in the end though. Promise. ;P)


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Freddie stared down at the black velvet box he held in his hands. For the 100th time since he'd purchased it, he opened the box again, staring down at the contents within. Inside sat a simple and and non-ornate white gold ring, decorated with only a tiny diamond in the middle.

It wasn't an engagement ring. Even feelings for Sam aside, he didn't feel ready for that quite yet. Admittedly, he wondered if he'd ever be ready for that. Maybe Carly was. Maybe Sam was, though he still found it somewhat hard to believe. He however, was not. Nonetheless, he felt compelled to at least attempt to make a promise to Vivian…a promise he now realized he'd been holding back on because of his feelings for Sam.

But he needed a fresh start now. He needed to move on. If Sam could do it, seemingly so easily, then so could he.

He had to.

That was why, after he'd gotten off of work, he'd gone straight to the jewelry store down the street from his office and bought Vivian a promise ring of sorts. He supposed some might call it uncharacteristically rash, but he didn't see it that way. He and Vivian had been together for a while now and it wasn't as if it was an real engagement ring. It was just a promise. It was just a simple promise to stay true and to stick with her. It was just a simple promise that there was hope for a one day after all.

It was his promise of a fresh start.

Suddenly, he was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing. Quickly he stuffed the box back into his pocket and picked up the phone from the coffee table where it lay strewn.

"Hey, Freddie," Carly said cheerfully from the other end.

"Hey, Carly. Uhm, what's up?"

"Are you free tonight? I was talking to Sam and I was thinking we should all hang out tonight. Maybe movie night at Sam's place?"

"Uhm, sure," Freddie replied, more hesitantly than he'd intended.

If Carly had picked up on it however, she ignored it.

"Okay. Great! So, see you at Sam's around 9:00-ish?"

"Uh...yeah. Sure. See you then."

"See ya!" Carly replied cheerfully before hanging up.

Freddie sighed. He hadn't seen Sam since the rather awkward incident at Spencer's and Gloria's and he had left a phone call from her unanswered. Since his realization, he couldn't help but feel hesitantly awkward about her and about the idea of being around her.

But, he decided resolutely, it didn't matter. They were friends. Just friends. She was happy with Shawn and he was happy with Vivian. There was no reason to feel awkward or uncomfortable, not anymore at least. This was day one of his fresh start.

Tonight would be no big deal.

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Sam sat on the sofa, her legs stretching across the length of it. A rerun of a very old episode of Girly Cow played on the screen in front of her.

A bowl of popcorn and a DVD sat atop the coffee table. Everything was set for movie night. Carly had figured it'd be good for her, Sam, and Freddie to all spend some time together to smooth out any of the weirdness of their last encounter at Gloria and Spencer's.

Sam had agreed on the condition that Carly wouldn't try to pull anything funny or meddle in her well meaning, but often disastrous, way in regards to her and Freddie. Sam had insisted that she'd confront Freddie, but stressed that she needed to do it on her own time. With much sighing, Carly agreed.

Sam looked down at the clock on her pear phone. 9:20. Carly was late, again. It was strange how that seemed to be becoming a habit of hers, especially considering she had always been Ms. Punctuality. Freddie was late as well.

At that moment, there was a loud knock at the door. Standing from the sofa, Sam made her way towards it. Standing on her tiptoes she looked through the peephole. On the other side she saw Freddie, a sheepish grin on his face and a plastic grocery bag in his hand.

"Hey," Freddie said as Sam opened the door.

"Hey, Benson. Oh, you brought Fat Cakes? Smart move, kid. Smart move," Sam replied as she eyed the plastic bag in Freddie's hands.

"Yeah. Figured you'd appreciate that," he said with a laugh.

"You know me well," she chuckled as she grabbed the bag from his hands and lead him into her living room.

"Carly's not here yet?" Freddie asked curiously.

"Nope. She's been making a habit of being late lately…kind of starting to understand why she's always so bothered when I'm late."

Just then, Sam's phone buzzed. Pulling it out of her pocket she saw a text from Carly.

_Hey! Sorry. Can't make it tonight. Ben surprised me! Tickets to a show I've been dying to see. Just do movie night without me, k? _

Sam groaned.

Of course she couldn't make it. She'd never planned on making it. Sam had been set up. Carly had meddled. The fact that Sam hadn't seen it coming and had actually been foolish enough to believe Carly when she'd said she wouldn't meddle had Sam seriously wondering if she'd lost her edge.

"Is that Carly?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah. She can't make it. Something about Ben getting tickets to some show tonight or something," Sam replied, holding back the irritation in her voice.

"Oh," Freddie replied, a hint of nervousness in his tone. "Guess, it's just you and me then."

"Yeah…" Sam replied distractedly.

It was going to be a long night…

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"This is the lamest horror movie ever. This chick is so dumb. Why would she go inside the house of a crazed axe murderer? Between that and the chizzy acting, I'm not sure how much more of this movie I can take," Sam whined as she stared at the screen.

They were only 15 minutes into the movie and Sam was already bored out of her mind. Admittedly, it was her fault. She'd been the one to pick it out. The cover had been gruesome enough to be promising, but the movie had turned out to be anything but.

"I told you this movie was going to be terrible, Sam," Freddie laughed knowingly from the other end of the sofa.

"Yeah, well when have I ever listened to what you say?" Sam prodded.

"…Good point, though I'm pretty sure this is proof that maybe you should start."

"Yeah…not happening," she laughed. "Anyways, I can't take anymore of this movie. Did you bring any other ones?"

"Actually," Freddie said, as a grin formed across his face. Reaching towards the coffee table, he picked up the shopping bag he'd brought with him and pulled out a Galaxy Wars DVD box set.

"Galaxy Wars? Really, Freddie?" Sam scoffed.

"One day I'll get you to watch it. I'm telling you. It'll happen," Freddie said confidently.

"Dude, you've been trying to get me to watch that movie for the past 10 years now. It's not going to happen. Besides, I'd rather sit through this chizz-fest of a horror film than watch Galaxy Wars."

Freddie just rolled his eyes, disappointingly placing the DVD's back into the shopping bag.

"So…we're just going to keep watching this then?" Freddie asked as the actress on-screen gave another unconvincing scream.

"Guess so," Sam replied now turning to face the screen again.

As Freddie settled back into his spot on the sofa, he felt his phone vibrate in his jacket pocket. Quickly, he haphazardly pulled it out, not noticing what else fell out of his pocket as he did so.

A text from Vivian filled the screen of his phone.

_Filming went great today. Call me soon? Can't wait to tell you all about it. Miss you. _

Eyeing him closely, Sam spoke up.

"Aww, did Freddie get a message from his girly-friend," she joked in a juvenile manner, though there was a slight bite to her tone.

"Hahaha, Sam," Freddie said as he quickly typed back a reply. "And yes, it is Vivian. She just wanted me to call her."

Looking up from his phone, Freddie saw Sam now carefully eyeing something on the sofa next to him.

It was a black velvet box.

Hastily, Freddie made to grab it and shove it back into the coat pocket it had fallen out of, but Sam was quicker.

Opening it rashly, she stared down at it, the small diamond of the ring glimmering in the glow of the TV.

Almost immediately, she felt her heart drop.

Here it was. A ring…a ring for a girl…a girl who was obviously Vivian. Why he had brought it here, she wasn't sure, but the why didn't matter. What mattered was that he had it.

A ring, obviously meant for Vivian, could only mean one thing.

Suddenly, the ugly truth that Sam had been blissfully ignoring since her talk with Carly earlier in the day, came crashing down around her. Now that she was holding it in the palm of her hand, the truth was a lot harder to ignore.

"Guess I should say congratulations to Vivian," she said finally, her face emotionless as she closed the box and tossed it back onto the sofa.

"Uhmm...yeah," Freddie replied awkwardly as he picked up the box and once again stowed it away safely in his coat pocket.

They sat in awkward silence, Sam's eyes now glued to the screen in front of her while Freddie fiddled awkwardly with the box in his pocket. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but the awkwardness was palpable. He hoped she hadn't gotten the wrong idea and assumed that it was an engagement ring, but even if she had, what did it matter? It's not like she would care, right?

"I'm tired and this movie sucks. I think I'm going to call it night. You know the way out," Sam said suddenly as she reached towards the coffee table and picked up the remote to the DVD player.

"Oh…uhm…okay. I guess," Freddie replied, caught off guard by Sam's abrupt change in attitude and sudden ending of the night.

Sam stood from the sofa and, without so much as a look back, made her way across the living room and towards the hall.

"Wait," Freddie said suddenly as he stood.

He could tell something was wrong. Something in her had changed after she'd seen the ring and he couldn't help but wonder if she was…no, she couldn't be. She wouldn't be. It had to be something though, because something was wrong. That much was clear.

"Are you, okay?"

"Uhm, why wouldn't I be?" Sam replied with an air of nonchalance that would have fooled Freddie had he not known her almost all of his life. "I'm fine. Just tired and you are getting in the way of me sleeping. I think you know how dangerous that is, right?"

She let out a faux sounding laugh, but the hint of sadness and irritation in her eyes betrayed her.

"Sam, I've known you since we were 11. I can tell when something is wrong. What is it?"

Sam rolled her eyes, irritation now completely taking over her features.

"Nothing, Freddie. Just drop it."

"Sam,-" Freddie made to speak up again, but Sam cut him off.

"Look, Freddie. I'm fine. Perfect. Never better. Now, since we've established that, you should probably run along home now. You don't want to keep precious Vivian waiting," Sam replied. The sarcasm in her voice was more than noticeable now, but she did nothing to hide it.

She was being petulant. She knew it, but she was mad. She was mad at him, but mostly she was mad at herself for thinking she still had a chance…a chance that one little ring had reminded her that she didn't have at all.

"What are you talking about?" Freddie asked confused.

"Nothing, Freddie. Forget it," Sam replied crossly. "Anyways, like I said, you know the way out."

"Sam, seriously. What is your problem?" Freddie asked, not letting the conversation end as easily as Sam wished he would.

Sam sighed heavily before speaking up, the words flowing out of her unexpectedly like a dam being let open after months without release.

"You want to know what my problem is?" Sam asked, looking Freddie in the eye, unreasonable bitterness and disappointment that she'd been suppressing now rising in her chest.

"You, Freddie! You. You're my problem. You want me to happy for you? You want me to be happy that you're planning some nubby little future with some chick that I can't stand? You want me to be happy that you're…" Sam paused, her voice breaking slightly as she said the next words "that you're…in love with someone else? Well, I can't be and I know that's selfish and ten kinds of screwed up, but it's how I feel. I can't be happy about any of it because I'm still freaking in love with you. And you know what makes it even more damned pathetic? I somehow managed to delude myself into thinking that I still had a chance."

Sam finished, her face flushed and her chest rising and falling rapidly. She wasn't one for tears, but her eyes were moist. She felt like an idiot being so ridiculously and uncharacteristically emotional, but it was literally as if all the emotions she'd been holding in had come pouring out in one unstoppable rush.

Retrospectively speaking, it was bound to happen eventually. She'd been a ticking time bomb. She should have known it wouldn't take much to blow her cover of bored nonchalance.

Freddie stared dumbfounded at Sam, his eyes wide. His mouth hung open slightly in vague shock, reminding Sam almost unconsciously of a spring night many years ago in an empty school courtyard

Without a word, Freddie suddenly stepped forward, closing the small amount of space that still existed between them. Before Sam knew it, his lips were on hers and she immediately felt that familiar electricity spread through her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

She'd missed that feeling. She'd longed for that feeling. She'd never felt it with anyone else but him. Even in their most chaste of kisses, she'd felt it. It's how she'd always known, even from that innocent night so long ago on a dark fire escape that he was going to be different, that he was not going be easy to forget or ignore…no matter how much she wished he would be.

She felt his tongue begging for entrance and that was why it took all the strength and resolve in her to pull away from him.

There was a feverish, but disappointed, look in his eyes as he stared back at her.

"Wha-what are you doing?" Sam asked, her head spinning.

"You were wrong," he said, still breathing heavily.

"Wha-?" Sam began. This time, it was Freddie's turn to cut her off.

"About everything. Sam, I still love you…and, I don't know, maybe I never even really stopped. I mean, those times we broke up…I never wanted to. I never wanted to break up with you, but I gave in because it seemed like that was what you wanted and I-I just wanted you to be happy, even if wasn't with me. And I was okay with hooking up and everything when we weren't really together, but I always wanted more, Sam. I always _really_ wanted to be with you and I held out hope that maybe one day…one day we would get that chance. Then you met Shawn and I thought you had moved on and that I needed to too. Then when I found out you were moving in with him and thinking about marrying him I just…"

Freddie paused for the first time since he'd begun speaking and breathed in deeply, his eyes closed. "I thought I'd really lost you. I thought I needed to let go because you obviously had and I guess I thought giving that ring to Vivian would help me do it…would help me get over you for good. I realize now that was stupid though because I still love you and no matter what I do, no matter how much denial I'm in, nothing can change that. Nothing can change how I feel about you, Sam."

A heavy silence filled the room as Freddie stared determinedly into Sam's eyes.

After a moment of shocked quiet, Sam finally spoke up, saying the first thing that came to her mind.

"I was never planning on moving in with Shawn…or marrying him," she finally said quietly, her gaze downcast. "I just told Vivian I was because Vivian said…you…and her…" her voice trailed off quietly in embarrassment as she looked up at Freddie, a warmth in his eyes that melted her heart.

Without another word, Sam leaned forward, kissing Freddie with an unexpected intensity. Almost as if by instinct Freddie reached his hands upwards and grabbed her waist tightly, pulling her towards him. That familiar feeling of electricity spread through her body once more as she felt the length of him pressed against her. Slowly, he moved his hands from her waist to her torso, subconsciously inching upwards under the thin fabric of her t-shirt. Her breath hitched slightly as she felt the callousness of his cold fingers touch her bare skin, causing him to stop momentarily.

Immediately, she noticed that his eyes were filled with a familiar longing. It had the dual effect of both making her weak in the knees and yet emboldening her all at once.

She stopped his hand, placing hers on top of his. Almost instantly a deflated look began to settle across his features. However, instead of suggesting they stop, as Freddie had expected her to, she turned, his hand still in hers, and began to lead him out of the living room and down the hall towards her room.

In the deep recesses of both their minds, there was something telling them to stop.

There was something telling them they shouldn't be doing this.

That it wasn't right.

But at that moment, their hands intertwined as they fumbled through the darkness of the hall and into Sam's room, they were both fairly certain that nothing had felt this right in a very long time.

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**A/N: **Sorry its taken so long to update, on the off chance that there's anyone that cares (haha). I've been really busy lately. :/


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Freddie could feel small streams of warm morning sunlight on his face as they spilled through the cracks in the blinds. When he felt the figure next to him stir, he adjusted his arm, which was wrapped around the figure's tiny waist, and pulled her closer. Almost instinctively, the figure burrowed deeper into him, closing the space between them even more. He felt the rise and fall of the figures soft breathing against his chest. A few loose strands of blonde hair tickled his face. Breathing out a contented sigh, he was certain he could stay like this forever given the chance.

His moment of content was short lived however. Only moments later the loud buzzing of a cell phone pierced the silence of the room. Too tired to move, Freddie hoped he could ignore it until it stopped ringing.

He wasn't so lucky.

"Ugh turn it off," Sam groaned.

Freddie sighed, opening his eyes slowly. In a disoriented state, he began taking in his surroundings.

"Are you going to turn that off or am I going to have to break it?" Sam whined once more, now pulling the covers over her head.

Sleep beginning to wear off, the reality of where Freddie was begun to set in.

Sam. Last night. I still love you. Kissing…lots and lots of kissing and…

Immediately, Freddie disentangled himself from Sam, who let out a disappointed sigh, and sat upright. Frantically, he looked around the room, attempting to find his phone. Leaning over the edge of the bed he noticed his jacket, his phone vibrating visibly in the pocket. Picking it up, he looked at the words on the screen:

_Call from: Viv_

He felt his heart stop as he began to panic.

Vivian, his girlfriend, was calling him. She was calling him while he was in bed with his best friend…his best friend whom, only the night before, he'd confessed to still being in love…his best friend whom he'd just slept with.

Not sure of what else to do, Freddie pressed the ignore button on his phone.

As soon as he did that, another phone began to ring. This time it was Sam's.

"I thought I told you to turn that off," Sam whined.

"Sam, that's not mine. I think it's yours."

Sam groaned as she reached for the nightstand where her phone lay.

"Shit," she said as she realized who was calling.

"Shit, shit, shit. It's Shawn," Sam replied once she looked at the screen of her phone.

Sam sat up, her eyes still bleary with sleep as she held the blanket to her chest with one hand and a persistently ringing phone in the other.

In a similar rush of panic to Freddie's, Sam pressed the ignore button before dropping the phone onto her bed.

Taking in his bare-chested figure she rested her head in the palm of her hands.

"What are we going to do?" she groaned, the reality of the situation beginning to set in.

"I-I don't know," Freddie sighed heavily.

After a few moments of agonizing silence, Sam spoke up again, her voice heavy.

"Maybe we could just…forget it?" she suggested unconvincingly.

"What?" Freddie asked shocked.

"Yeah, just for now…until we can, I don't know, sort stuff out."

"Seriously? No. Sam, we can't just 'forget it'. This isn't some stupid 7-second kiss between two 14 year olds. I told you I'm still in love with you and you said it back to me and we slept together. This isn't something we can just forget," Freddie said, irritation present in his voice.

"Well, I don't know what else to do, Freddie," Sam replied dejectedly.

"Maybe, we should just, I don't know, tell the truth," Freddie finally said, unintentional bite in his tone.

"Ugh, leave it to you to want to do the right thing. You're like a 24 year old boy scout," Sam sighed. She'd meant it as a joke, but it did nothing to lighten the moment. If anything, it seemed to irritate Freddie further.

"I'm serious, Sam."

"I know, Freddie. I just…what do I say? 'Oh, hey Shawn. Just wanted to let you know I slept with my ex-boyfriend who I'm still in love with. Thanks for being so understanding.' Yeah. That'd go over real well," Sam replied sarcastically.

Hearing Sam say it out loud made Freddie realize just how difficult this situation actually was. It was easy enough to say that they needed to do the right thing and that they needed to tell the truth, but actually doing it was a whole different story.

"I don't know. I don't know, but we have to do the right thing."

Sam groaned noncommittally from the other side of the bed and then they sat in silence, both contemplating what they had done and said the night before.

Once again, Sam's phone began to buzz. Looking down at the phone in her lap, she saw that it was Shawn…again. This time however, he'd sent a text message.

_Hey. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you're all right. Mind if I swing by your place? (You should say yes cause I'm already on my way over.) I've got something for you._

Sam sighed. Just when she thought the morning couldn't get any worse…it did.

Reading the frazzled expression on Sam's face, Freddie spoke up.

"Is it Shawn?"

"Yeah and…he's on his way over here. You—you've got to go, Freddie."

Freddie stared back at Sam, incredulity upon his face again.

"Sam, I can't just leave. Not like this. We haven't even-"

Sam cut Freddie off.

"Look, Freddie…Shawn is on his way over. Somehow I don't think it'd go over too well if he walked in and saw you-" Sam paused as her eyes quickly glanced down at his bare chest "like this…here…with me."

"I know, but just…just at least tell me what we're doing. We can't ignore this, Sam. We can act like this didn't happen. What are we now? What about Shawn? Are you going to tell him what happened?"

Sam was quiet a moment, her gaze downcast.

"What about Vivian? Are you going to tell her what happened?"

"Well, yeah. Of course, I mean…" Freddie fell silent. He'd been so quick to think of what Sam would do. How Sam would handle it. How Sam would tell Shawn, but he'd neglected to think about Vivian and what he would do.

Suddenly, the weight of the situation hit him. He pictured her heartbroken face as he imagined himself telling her what happened.

As if reading Freddie's mind, Sam spoke up again.

"It's not so easy, is it?"

"I just…I don't want to…I don't know how to do this without hurting her."

A seemingly derisive laugh escaped Sam's lips, catching Freddie by surprise.

"You already have."

It was three simple words that struck him with unexpected force.

He'd always fashioned himself as a "good guy", nice to a fault.

He'd certainly never imagined himself as the type to cheat…as the type to so carelessly break someone's heart.

But here he was, sitting in bed with his best friend/ex-girlfriend/sole source of chaos in his life since he was barely a teenager, after just having slept with her…while they were both with other people: other people who cared about them both greatly. Freddie had never cared for Shawn, but he had to admit Shawn's devotion and adoration of Sam was admirable. And Vivian…Freddie couldn't even bear to think about her. The image of her smiling face made his heart weigh heavy in his chest.

He didn't want to hurt her, but Sam was right.

He already had.

"We effed up, Freddie," Sam spoke up solemnly. "We've been effing this whole…_thing_ between us up since we were kids and now, now we're screwing other people over by dragging them into our mess that neither of us has had the balls to try and fix."

She sighed heavily as she turned her gaze away from Freddie and towards the direction of the window.

"I'm tired of it. I'm tired and there's only one way to fix this. As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. We've got to do the right thing. We've got to stop screwing this up."

"Anyways, you should go," she said as she glanced back down at the discarded phone in her lap.

Freddie nodded, accepting that Sam was right. Him staying wouldn't do any good, no matter how much he wanted to. He then leaned over, kissing Sam lightly on the forehead.

"I meant what I said last night," he said quietly.

With that, Freddie turned from her and quickly threw on his discarded clothing. As he made his way towards the door of her bedroom, he heard her speak up, her voice tiny and far away sounding.

"Me too."

He glanced back at her one more time. She had her arms wrapped around her knees, hugging them closely to her chest. Her long blonde hair fell messily atop her head and there was sadness in her eyes that made Freddie's heart ache. He wanted nothing more than to walk back over, wrap his arms around her and just stay like that. He wanted nothing more than to forget the complicated reality of their situation, but he knew he couldn't.

Staying would only make things worse.

Freddie gave an almost apologetic smile, or at least what he could muster of one, before turning his back to her once more and making his way out of the room.

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**A/N: **The time between the end of the last chapter and the beginning of this one could have been very interesting if this story was rated M, alas it is not. ;P


	9. Chapter 9

Sam stared aimlessly down at the phone in her hands, her head still spinning from everything that had happened.

Freddie knew that she was still in love with him.

And Freddie was still in love with her.

Her heart soared as the words ran through her head.

_He felt the same._

But her happiness was short lived as her mind began to wander and the less than perfect reality of the situation made it's way back into her thoughts.

Shawn: an innocent bystander in her rollercoaster of a relationship with Freddie. That's what he'd been and now she was about to hurt him.

He didn't deserve it. He was a good guy. Even Carly liked him and that was saying something, as she was never too fond of Sam's boys of choice. He was fun and he treated her well. Sure, he was all but unemployed and really had no plans for himself, but lack of future stability aside, he was sweet.

However, no matter how great he was, the truth of the matter was that she had never loved him. In retrospect, she'd realized that she'd tried to love him. She'd tried to convince herself that she could be happy with him...that she could be happy with settling.

All it'd taken was one night with Freddie for her to realize that that was impossible.

She could never be fully happy with him. She could never settle.

A knock on the door pulled Sam out of her thoughts. With a heavy sigh and a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach she stood and made her way to the door.

"Hi, Sam!" Shawn replied cheerfully, a paper bag in his hand. Noticing Sam's gaze, Shawn spoke up once more.

"Brought you some breakfast."

"Thanks. Come on in," Sam replied, all attempts to express faux cheerfulness failing miserably. "Just set it on the counter."

"Okay. I just bought Sam Puckett breakfast and she's not tackling it out of my hands. Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?" Shawn joked.

Sam cringed at his words.

Noticing Sam's grimace, Shawn spoke up.

"Are you ok?"

Looking up at Shawn, a heaviness in her heart, she breathed in deeply.

"We need to talk."

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Freddie sat at his desk, staring blankly out the window in front of him. The abnormally sunny sky seemed to mock him as he mauled over what had happened in the last 24 hours.

Sam was still in love with him.

He was still in love with her.

He'd never stopped loving her.

In any other circumstance, the thought would have filled him with an incomprehensible joy, but as his gaze drifted to the now discarded black velvet box, his heart sunk.

Vivian.

_You already have._

Sam's words played through his mind, making his guilt grow even heavier.

_We've got to do the right thing. We've got to stop screwing this up._

Freddie sighed, picking up his phone and sending a text to Vivian.

"_Hey. Are you free? Can we video chat?"_

Before Freddie could even set his phone back down, Vivian replied.

"_I'm actually about to head out soon. Can it wait?"_

"_Not really," he replied hastily._

Sure, technically it could have waited, but Freddie had finally built up the courage to tell her and he wasn't sure if he'd still have it later.

"_Oh okay. Well, I'll be on in a minute."_

Freddie set his phone down and turned his attention towards his computer screen. Opening the video chat icon, Vivian's face popped up only moments later.

"Hey, Freddie!"

"Hey, Vivian," Freddie replied solemnly.

"So, you made it sound really urgent. Is everything okay? Are you alright?"

"Not really. Vivian, we need to talk," Freddie said with a grave sigh.

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Orange early morning light was filtering into the empty room through the handful of tiny windows. The normally packed tables sat empty, their chairs resting upturned on top of them. Sam swept aimlessly around the tables and the bar, not really paying attention to what she was doing.

She didn't have to work today, but she'd needed an excuse to get out of her apartment. It was too full of memories and moments she didn't want to think about at the moment. So, she'd come into the club early and decided to clean up a bit and take care of some paperwork she'd been neglecting.

She hated paperwork. She normally left most of it up to the other manager, but at the moment, anything was better than being in that stupid apartment.

Just thinking about it made a wave of sadness surge through her.

She'd done it.

She'd ended things with Shawn.

She didn't even need to explain why. When she'd said solemnly, guilt heavy in her chest, "It's over", Shawn looked at her, hurt in his eyes and responded simply, "Freddie?"

It was all she could do to nod quickly, avoiding his eyes as she did so.

Shawn didn't say anything. He looked at her, hurt and a smidge of disgust on his face, but mostly hurt.

He didn't ask for more information though. He didn't asked what happened or why or when.

He just sat there, staring at her with a look of heartbreak on his face. She kept hoping he'd say something. She could handle him being angry and irate and mad. This silence though? That look?

That, she could not handle.

Without another word or even so much as a look back, Shawn left her apartment, slamming the door behind him.

That was yesterday morning and she hadn't heard from him since.

Not that she was expecting too.

She didn't deserve any of his time and it's not as if there was really anything to say, nothing that he'd care to hear anyways.

He wasn't going to waste anymore of his time on her. She was sure of that, but she understood.

He deserved someone better. He deserved someone who loved him and that wasn't her.

No matter how hard she'd tried to make it so.

Suddenly, Sam heard the door open as a familiar voice spoke up.

"Since when does Sam Puckett clean?"

Turning around to face the entrance, Sam found herself face to face with Freddie.

They hadn't spoken since the morning before.

"I'm full of surprises," Sam replied in a cheerful tone that gave off the impression that she was far more comfortable than she actually was.

"Understatement of the century," Freddie smirked sadly.

Sam said nothing, tearing her gaze away from Freddie and back towards the broom in her hands.

"So…" Freddie said cautiously.

Again, Sam said nothing as she bit down on her lip and continued to avoid his gaze.

"I told Vivian," he said finally. "Well, I started to. I never really got to finish because…" Freddie's voice trailed off as he tried to forget her angry and hurt outburst.

_I should have known. I knew it. I knew that girl was trouble from the start. _

Her bitter and venomous words ran through his mind and as much as it hurt, he knew her anger was warranted.

He'd hurt her and there was nothing he could do at that point to make it better. He pictured her as she sat there, tears running down her face as she ranted and raved, calling him, and even Sam on occasion, every name in the book that she could, before finally saying:

_It's over._

Only seconds later, she exited out of the chat, leaving a frazzled, guilt ridden Freddie staring at the screen where Vivian's face had been only moments before.

It wasn't how he'd wanted things to end. He'd never meant to hurt her. He'd never meant to hurt anyone.

And yet he had.

Maybe he wouldn't have if he'd had the nerve years ago to tell Sam what he wanted. If he had had the nerve to tell her that their sort of relationship wasn't enough and that he wanted more, maybe he could have spared them all a lot of hurt…Vivian, Shawn, Sam...even himself.

Sam simply nodded, not bothering to prod Freddie any more on the matter. The solemn look on his face said it all.

"I told Shawn," she replied, as if to let him know he wasn't alone in this, as if to show they were some how comrades in the chaos they'd created.

Freddie sighed, his face still downtrodden.

"I'm a terrible person," Freddie said finally.

"I know how you feel but, you can't beat yourself up forever over this, Freddie."

When Freddie didn't respond, Sam spoke up again.

"And, you did the right thing. Telling the truth at least. I know it sucks that it all had to come to this, but maybe if this whole thing had been dragged out longer, you'd have ended up hurting her even more…" Sam said as her mind drifted back to the ring she'd seen Freddie with just two days ago.

"I guess," Freddie replied noncommittally.

They fell into a quiet and thoughtful silence until Freddie spoke up once more.

"Fate is funny, isn't it?"

"I don't believe in fate."

"Really?," Freddie asked in surprise.

"No. Life...life is wild and crazy and...unpredictable. None of it's predestined or planned any of that chiz. It just...happens," Sam replied.

"You really think that? After everything that's happened with us?," Freddie asked disbelievingly.

Sam shrugged noncommittally.

"Come on, you don't believe that it was fate that at 11 years old we met and you decided to make it your life's mission to make me miserable and here we are now?," he asked with a smirk and a raise of his eyebrow.

"I'll admit that it's ironic, but that's it, kid," Sam finally admitted.

"Well, I guess that's the best I'm going to get out of you," he said with a heavy laugh.

They were silent a moment more before Freddie spoke up again.

"So, now what?" he asked, his gaze downturned as he watched the streams of sunlight dance across the shiny black floor of the building.

"I don't know," Sam replied honestly as she wrung her hands. "What do you want to happen now?"

Without thinking, Freddie leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Sam's waist and kissing her fervently. He kissed her without guilt and without fear and, as the surprise wore off, Sam began to kiss him back, matching his intensity all the same.

Freddie pulled away, picking up Sam's hand and carefully intertwining their fingers.

"That," he said as he looked down at their tangled fingers, "is what I want now."

And it was as if Sam understood exactly what he meant.

He didn't just want a safety net. He didn't just want a kiss or a random hook up that he'd be forced to ignore the next day. He didn't want settling.

He wanted her.

All of her.

For real this time.

Part of this understanding scared her. They'd, as she'd said herself, already screwed things up so many times before, going so far as to drag other people into their mess.

If they couldn't make things work every other time they'd tried, what would make now any different?

Sam wasn't sure that she believed it would be. After all, she was still Sam Puckett and he was still Freddie Benson, as different as night and day and with the innate ability to get under one another's skin with not so much as a glance.

It all seemed rather ill advised to her.

However, Sam also knew that, despite all of that, not being with Freddie wasn't any better and, in the end, it only hurt her (and likely some innocent bystander as well) even more.

They had trouble being together, but they were a disaster with anyone else.

Maybe, if Sam was someone who actually bought into the whole notion of fate, she'd admit that maybe that did mean something, she'd admit that Carly was right and that maybe all of this had been fate's way of trying to tell her and Freddie both something…a metaphorical wake-up call from the universe if you will.

Of course, Sam didn't buy that.

Not at all.

Life was, like she'd said, nothing more than a mess of unpredictability-wild and crazy and unplanned.

As she stared down at their interlaced fingers, she felt Freddie give her hand a light squeeze, almost as if he knew what she was thinking.

Maybe life was screwy and unpredictable, but if she had to spend it with anyone, she could think of no one better to spend it with than him.

And that alone made giving things another shot completely worth it, no matter how ill-advised.

Maybe the third time really could be the charm after all.

* * *

**A/N: **And...the end.


End file.
